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I don't love him!!!

(10 Posts)
Daisychainbum Fri 11-Mar-16 00:46:05

Name changed to hide identity!

I have been pretty unhappy for a long time and I've come to the realisation I don't love dp and even worse don't think I ever have!
i feel like such a horrible person for feeling this way. We have been together nearly 10yrs and got together after a very bad relationship. We have always been friends and I knew he liked me as he didn't hide the fact. I was never interested but when I broke up he was there. I was lost with a 2yr old and it was just easy to stay with him. We now have two more children and I'm miserable. I just don't know what to do. I feel so bad!

Monty27 Fri 11-Mar-16 00:53:12

OP, I don't want to read and run so I'm posting to bump for you. I've been there in a way albeit not with subsequent dcs. Hopefully someone will come along with sage advice. You probably need to take stock of why you don't feel happy. I'll check in tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up. Relationships are difficult. Take care.

Daisychainbum Fri 11-Mar-16 04:26:54

I just don't feel anything for him never really have! I just go from day to day getting on with it. I know he loves me which is why i feel so bad as I would hate to find out someone I loved was just faking it. I really have very little experience with relationships as I've never really fancied anyone except for my best friend from college but think that was a bit more of an obsession with her.

I've only realised how sad I've been since I noticed everytime he said he had a day off when I did instead of feeling happy I felt sad. I'm not me with him he judges me a lot and treats me like a thing. It's hard to explain but it's been going on so long.

I don't want to split up our family but I feel trapped in this!

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Fri 11-Mar-16 05:59:29

You need to separate then! Don't waste your life

StillAwakeAndItIsLate Fri 11-Mar-16 06:50:44

Are you friends? Do you enjoy being with him on that level?

Mumof2twoboys Fri 11-Mar-16 07:06:22

Try relate first then separate if you still feel hopeless
Don't waste your life. It's too short

Morasssassafras Fri 11-Mar-16 08:47:49

You say he judges you a lot and treats you like a thing can you give us some examples of how he does that?

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 11-Mar-16 08:53:56

Op you say thinly person you have fancied was your female best friend? Is it possible then your gay?
You seem so unhappy but then go on to say he puts you down, and you kind of accept this.

Two points here, the first a snap shot of him seems mildly abusive maybe he senses how you feel though doesn't excuse the behaviour. The second point being your sexuality, are you being honest with yourself do you think thanks

Guiltypleasures001 Fri 11-Mar-16 08:54:19

Sorry for typos bloody iPad

Mumof2twoboys Fri 11-Mar-16 09:40:54

Not all family break ups end up in a war if you work hard at staying friends. You could end up with him having the kids half the time and you getting your own life back half the time.

Don't just separate on a whim. Go to relate and talk about how you will share the childcare if you do and plan it out and take it from there

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