I think he might have given me an STD

[JustCleo]

Things between DH and I haven't been great for over a year. He's quiet, snappy and uses his phone excessively. It feels like he's completely detached from the DC and I but he over compensates by telling me how much he loves me and how wonderful I am far too often to sound sincere.

Our youngest was born a year ago and we made the effort to go out for a couple of hours for DHs birthday in Feb. We DTD for the first time in about ten months. For the past three weeks I've had loads of greeny yellow sticky cervical mucus looking discharge which I never ever had before we DTD. I thought at first that I might be pregnant, but I'm not. My tummy feels like I had a permanent stitch and I generally feel run down.

He's been out with friends several times in the past ten months, he's worked extra days but then the money never seems to materialise to make a difference to our lives and as I mentioned before, he's on his phone loads.

I caught him flirting via his phone in the early days and when I was pregnant he used to pester me for sex and tell me how desperate he was because I was the only one who could satisfy him, he insisted he hated porn. Then I discovered he was masterbating to it daily, even sneaking off during the day. He was (is?) very highly sexed. He'd get aroused even if I only brushed past him and would often send me intimate photos etc. I can't believe he's gone ten months with nothing.

Could these be symptoms of an STD or am I worrying over nothing?

[SoThatHappened]

Go to a clinic. No one here can tell you. If you've got something you have proof.

[ImperialBlether]

I'm really sorry but yes, it does sound like it's an STD. I think you should phone your local GUM clinic for an urgent appointment.

In the meantime, you need to consider what you'll do if and when you find out you have been infected by him.

What a horrible situation for you.

[Fairenuff]

Don't leave it any longer, get checked out asap.

[ravenmum]

For goodness sake see a doctor if you have a discharge. Could be thrush, could be anything, why wouldyou wait three weeks then ask on a relationships forum?

[fluffypacman]

Urggh. Poor you. I'd defo get myself checked out. Green discharge does sound like it could be an std. I'd wait until results though to go bonkers at him, just in case it's an infection of another variety. X

[JustCleo]

raven mum because it looks like the cervical mucus I had when I was first pregnant so I thought I could be pregnant and have been waiting to test, but I'm definitely not pregnant. I have no itching or anything so don't think it's thrush.

[JustCleo]

I did have a bit of spotting so am think chlamydia

[JustCleo]

No, no smell really.

[JustCleo]

Have had lower back pain and nausea too, hence why I thought I could be pregnant. I didn't realise until I Googled it tonight that all can be signs of chlamydia too.

[CrazyMary]

I don't know if it is an std (could be Bacterial Vaginosis?) but presumably you would have been tested for a certain number of stds when pregnant (they do this so nothing gets past to the baby iyswim). So it may be recently contacted. Some std's can lie dormant for years so he may still be innocent. Honestly, before you mentioned the high sex drive, I thought maybe he is gambling (always on the phone, snappy, distracted, spending time doing overtime but no additional income). Could it be a sex addiction?
Try not to jump to conclusions too soon in case there is an innocent explanation, has your dh mentioned experiencing any discomfort/symptoms

[TweedAddict]

Please get yourself tested. I'm guessing your midwife did swab tests when you were pregnant? If you had an Sti while pregnant it could of really harmed the baby! Thank goodness you went off sex, you probably saved your baby. How selfish is your husband

[JustCleo]

I was tested when pregnant so it would be recently contracted. He is peeing a lot lately.

[JustCleo]

I saw the doctor this morning and he recommended a gum clinic

[imsuchafool12345]

I hope you get the news you want. we're all here for you to hold your hand

[LondonStill83]

Op I work in sexual health and generally, though not always, green discharge means gonorrhoea.

Sometimes it can be related to BV but generally also has a strong fishy smell and itching.

Gonorrhoea often includes bleeding during or after sex, pain during or after sex, pain when weeing, and a green thick mucous like discharge.

Chlamydia has similar symptoms but without the green discharge. Often people have dual infections, so get tests for both.

May as well test for HIV and syphilis whilst you are at it.

How old are you and how is your husband?

If you tested in pregnancy they would have tested you for both, so will be a new infection, which means you have caught it early and damage will be minimal.

Both curable and treatable.

[CrazyMary]

How are you Cleo? I eas thinking of you yesterday. Did you get an appointment for the gum clinic?

[whatevva]

Here, we have a sexual health clinic which does contraception and everything. Brilliant idea and place. Hope you got your appointment and tests for everything. Worth going for the whole lot

[JustCleo]

Hi Mary. I have an appointment on Friday. I haven't mentioned anything to him but still have lower back pain, lots of yucky discharge, pelvic pain and pressure. I'm dreading the results

[Thissameearth]

Well done on appointment. Not nice but you're taking control. You never know it might not be an STIand if it is you can deal sending you strength!

[CrazyMary]

I'm glad you got the appointment, what time are you going in? Hopefully the results are clear (could be BV or a UTI). Have you got someone to go with you for support? I know you probably don't want to tell anyone IRL, but it might ease your burden, if you had someone to keep your calm. Take it one step at the time, try to keep busy so you don't over think it.

[ConkersDontScareSpiders]

best of luck for Friday op.

[Freezingwinter]

[wonkylampshade]

So sorry op, your husband sounds up to no good. Good luck on Friday.

Have you considered what you're going to do if he has given you an STI?

[JustCleo]

It will be well and truly over, wonky. The difficult thing is that our house is rented and to do with his work, so really the DC and I would have no right to stay but I also have nowhere to go. I could afford a deposit on somewhere but being a SAHM ATM I'd need a guarantor, which I don't have.