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oh this is so hard - looking for advice of a mum with a small child who has fallen in love while still with abusive husband

(7 Posts)
bbrave32 Thu 10-Mar-16 15:17:31

OK Im jumping in at the deep end here!

Our two and half year relationship ended recently.
We were in love! Mutual love we very very good for each other. She bought out the best in me.
Difficulties we thought we could manage :
long distance commute she in france me in london
only meeting monthly
J has a small child aged nine
Controlling husband for ten years,volatile, very manipulative,controlling, sexually cohersive, threatening, suicidal
We met when she was still married.
I supported her through the turmoil and distress as she decided what to do. She had no where to go and no money, no job, no relations to stay with.
I paid appartment rent and much she had a safe secure place to make a home.Without this she would have returned to Bulgaria without her daughter undermining the essential bond between the two, leaving her in uncertainty with her husband.
When she left him he has threatened suicide on three occasions at least.
He poisons her daughter against J.

Its all too much for J . I dont want to loose her but she has decided that there is no future in a relation ship with such infrequent visits

Sorry its all a bit disjointed

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 10-Mar-16 15:20:13

You've served your purpose. She's got another mug on the go.

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 10-Mar-16 15:20:37

Be hrateful you're out of it now.

TheNaze73 Thu 10-Mar-16 15:47:39

She's seen you as a meal ticket. Best off out of it.

bbrave32 Thu 10-Mar-16 15:50:23

jesus I didnt expect these kind of responses for sure! She never asked for money

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 10-Mar-16 15:52:36

Shows how well she picks them then, you paid for so much anyway.

SongBird16 Thu 10-Mar-16 16:06:57

What do you expect people to say?

You had an affair with a married woman. The things she told you about her husband may have been true or untrue. It is textbook for an unfaithful spouse to lie about their partner. Either way, you were her exit affair but she doesn't want you or need you anymore. The distance didn't bother her before, but it does now? Just a kind excuse.

Cut your losses and move on, find an available person next.

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