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Do you think it's possible to meet the right person at the wrong time?

(54 Posts)
ProfessorPickles Thu 10-Mar-16 14:14:48

Just thinking about something once said to me, not in a deep emotional manner just popped into my head all of a sudden.

It was said to me and I had quite a "what a load of shit" reaction to it.

What are your thoughts?

My initial reaction is that if they were right for you you'd be with them. Therefore right at the wrong time = wrong person surely?

Summerlovinf Thu 10-Mar-16 14:21:27

Yes, I think that it's possible to meet someone with whom, at a different time in your life, you'd consider having a relationship.

goldensun Thu 10-Mar-16 14:28:41

I'd be a bit suspicious if someone said that to me. I met DH at very much the wrong time and at times it was an absolute nightmare trying to maintain a relationship when I had a lot to deal with, but we knew it was worth making the effort for, so we made it work.

I suppose there must be very extreme examples when it really wouldn't be the right time, like being in a war zone etc.

Summerlovinf Thu 10-Mar-16 14:31:17

How about if you meet someone and you're in a relationship at that time and then some years later, when you're single (your partner has died or you've split up) you get together?

Tryingtobenicexxx Thu 10-Mar-16 14:32:23

I deffo think this is true.
Sometimes you meet great people who possibly something great good happen but for many different reasons it's not possible to take things any further.

Tryingtobenicexxx Thu 10-Mar-16 14:32:37

*Could happen

Doublejeopardy Thu 10-Mar-16 14:34:33

I met someone once, we were both post divorce. I think given different circumstances things may have worked out differently and he hadnt been my manager but it didn't work out.

Bumped into him years later in the middle of a busy station there was still a spark and a twinkle in both our eyes as we discussed our spouses and children it was weird (but nice weird)

So we met at the wrong time but he may have been the right man who knows?

Custardcreamssummerdreams Thu 10-Mar-16 14:34:54


Heatherjayne1972 Thu 10-Mar-16 14:38:11

Yes but I think if it's 'meant to be' he/she will pop up again at some time when it is the right time

DreamingofSummer Thu 10-Mar-16 14:38:25

Most certainly. I met someone 40 years ago, when they were visiting this country as a language assistant and I was about to embark on a college course.

Three wonderful months together before we had to go our separate ways. Right person, wrong time.

AugustMoon Thu 10-Mar-16 14:39:42

Or the wrong person at the right time then you get stuck with them and when you meet the right person its the wrong time because you're already with the wrong person?

magpie17 Thu 10-Mar-16 14:40:27

I think I was that person to an ex of mine. Long story but we had a brief fling whilst both just out of a relationship, he wasn't 'ready' and ended it. About five years later he came back saying he had made a huge mistake, I was the 'one', blah blah blah, it's just that it was the wrong time (for him) and now he felt differently. Unfortunately for him it was too late!

I think you have to grab what life offers you, I met my DH very quickly after separating from my previous H. It was terrible timing and he basically supported me through my divorce which was tough on both of us. We knew we were in it for the long haul though and are now very happily married with a baby. I dread to think if I had listened to my head and not my heart when we first got together.

AugustMoon Thu 10-Mar-16 14:42:11

Yeah Heather I don't agree with that.... I think if you miss your chance then thats it. Obviously people do "pop-up" again but all that "if its meant to be..." Nah.

BaronessBomburst Thu 10-Mar-16 14:43:40

Yes. sad

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Thu 10-Mar-16 14:43:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProfessorPickles Thu 10-Mar-16 15:03:09

I was expecting a fairly different response, but it seems the verdict is in and that it is a thing! grin

I met someone a couple of years ago, we were only together 3-4 months and then I ended it as he wanted to go travelling for a few years. He said I'm the right person for him but it's the wrong time, especially with us being in different stages of our lives.
Occasionally I just think he's a dick for various reasons, but I miss him terribly at times. Especially to say we were together for such a short period, where partners of several years rarely pop into my mind!

Summerlovinf Thu 10-Mar-16 15:05:05 that situation he probably is a dick and you're pining for the idea of someone rather than the actual man.

Flossieflower01 Thu 10-Mar-16 15:07:01

I don't think there is one "right" person- we're all imperfect so you just pick someone who likes you back and choose to make it work (or not). I think it could work with loads of different people (and wouldn't work with loads of other people) so if circumstances were different of course you can be happy with someone else.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 10-Mar-16 15:07:03

Yes I do indeed.
Happened to me.
We've now been together for a good few years but it took a while to get there as we were both in the wrong frame of mind at that time.
All good now though.

PatMullins Thu 10-Mar-16 15:09:56

It happened to me, we have a DS now smile

Thethingswedoforlove Thu 10-Mar-16 15:12:33

August moon has nailed what I was gonna say

ProfessorPickles Thu 10-Mar-16 15:20:32

Think you're right summerlovinf, I kind of know I miss someone he half wasn't but sadly it doesn't make it stop haha. It doesn't take much up of my time, he just pops into my head every now and then and I think "that's sad" and usually carry on with life apart from today of course!
He was so caring and generally lovely to be around, possibly just a bit insecure.

Proud of myself for finishing it though, I never split up with anyone even when unhappy so I have that to be thankful for!

brabit Thu 10-Mar-16 16:39:46

I think the idea that you meet the "right" person and miraculously you fight through any obstacles to be together is a bit misleading.

I think once you make the choice you really love someone and then want to be with someone that yes you might fight obstacles to be together.

That said, I think love is made up of chemistry plus commitment and while the chemistry can appear any time or place, the commitment is always a choice.

So yes - you can meet the right person at the wrong time. Someone who you might have had a wonderful relationship with under differing circumstances or times in your life.

To try and give a few examples.

Say you meet someone just as you're going through a divorce. You might feel a lot of chemistry and have a heap of potentially but you're not fully emotionally available to make a commitment to them and do the work required to build a relationship.

Say for another example you decide you want to go off travelling and experiencing life and you meet someone right before you go.

Say for another example that you meet someone that you have a mad, crazy, passionate affair but at the time in your life that you et them you're not looking for a relationship; so instead of working on ways to get closer you might deliberately keep your distance and not grow things.

It is half luck, half work.

Sometimes the luck is there, but the timing is just wrong for the work.

I have, yes, met someone once that I feel for sure I would have been with if the timing and circumstances were different and no - I don't think that was because we loved each other less.

Just because it was not the right space in time.

NeedToMoveHouse Thu 10-Mar-16 17:08:13

I have a weird one...
I met this chap about 10 years ago, he worked across the road from my office, we saw each other on lunch breaks and had fun chit chat without ever actually sharing names/details. I was in a relationship at the time but always looked forward to bumping into him. I then moved.
I went on holiday with my ex to watch a football game a couple of years later, randomly the lunch break chap (LBC) was there! We shared a shock what are you doing here?? shock moment then parted ways.

Fast forward a few more years, I'm with current OH and volunteering at a charity with a lovely woman I hit it off with. Turns out she is LBC's mum and my OH actually went to school with LBC! We now all live in the same county and I see LBC every now n then as we have similar interests and will bump into each other at gigs/events.
A friend of mine is convinced it's all fate and he's the right person for me but it just hasn't been the right time yet but I think if it is the wrong time then it can't be the right person, if that makes sense.

Just thought I'd share, sorry for the ramble!

dementedma Thu 10-Mar-16 17:11:34

Yes. Oh yes.sad

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