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How do you forget and move on?

(10 Posts)
Thingschange891 Thu 10-Mar-16 08:36:19

There's so much I can't get over, things that are probably innocent but I'm insecure and I can't get certain things out my head. Things like my dh messaging other women before we married, deleting everything but the history was there and one night there was at least 7 different ones. Just friends all apparently. I've never heard or met these friends. Sometimes he used to get in at ridiculous times from work say 5 hours late, his job is unpredictable but this was the middle of the night. Texting his friends and deleting half of the messages? So if he's not talking about me then? .... whrn we were really really happy I find deleted texts to a young girl at work? He claims this is innocent but I saw texts to her just about work then all of a sudden he's messaging her and the conversation is gone! Around the same time I caught him looking at sex sites, we were so happy at the time! Great sex life and just a great life in general. He's ruined it completely I can't stop thinking why? Why am I not enough? And how do I trust him now?

OhShutUpThomas Thu 10-Mar-16 08:40:10

You know you don't have to get over this and trust him again?
And it's not your problem to fix. He's lost your trust, he needs to restore it - if that's what you want b

AnyFucker Thu 10-Mar-16 08:40:13

Why would you try and trust him ? He doesn't sound trustworthy.

He sounds like the kind of person who will continue to cast the net far and wide, hoping to hook something or someone.

If you have to live your life snooping at half conversations, worrying about the young girl at work and wondering whether he is on yet another dating site then you have no relationship all.

Thingschange891 Thu 10-Mar-16 08:43:13

He's left that job but I worry who he spends his working time with now if you get me? I don't snoop anymore, I used to, most of these things I saw by accident! Like times he will tell me to text his mother etc or I've been on the laptop. I just don't understand he says its just me but I feel like it won't be in the future yet again?

hellsbellsmelons Thu 10-Mar-16 08:44:59

And you put up with this because..?????
You don't have to you know.
There are men out there who are faithful and trustworthy.
Unfortunately you don't have one of those right now.
Is there a reason you think this all you are worth?

Thingschange891 Thu 10-Mar-16 08:49:23

We only got married 9 month ago, that was when the sex site and that girl from work thing came out. Just makes me wonder if he's been doing anything when he's been working late. I'm at a loss as I feel something has been taken away from me. I love him I love spending time with him we have great times but I can't help thinking it's all a front sad

Thingschange891 Thu 10-Mar-16 08:59:52

He tries to brush everything under the carpet, as if nothing has happened and I'm just terribly insecure. He knows he's done wrong if I mention it he says sorry but he would rather it just be forgotten and move on? But so much has happened how can we? How does he think this is right behaviour? Am I that boring?

AnyFucker Thu 10-Mar-16 09:09:32

No, he is the boring one

Such a cliche.

Jan45 Thu 10-Mar-16 12:22:13

For as long as you put up with this he will continue, he's clearly looking to either jump out of the marriage and take up with someone new or he wants the comforts of marriage but thrills on the side.

What you should be asking is why do I think so low of myself that I am prepared to live this shit life, who cares why he does it, fact is, you need to take control and just stop believing his crap.

Jan45 Thu 10-Mar-16 12:23:23

Stop turning it on yourself, he's the wanker not you, you can't fix him nor should you even want to, take care of yourself, he sure won't.

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