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Help me reply to this message

(55 Posts)
Weymouthmouth Wed 09-Mar-16 19:07:21

So about 20 years ago when I was 16/17 I had a boyfriend for about a year, went our separate ways (I ended it, he was gutted) quite soon after he then met someone else got married and had kids.

Over the years seen him & wife around handful of times, and we are polite etc.

On Saturday I got a Facebook message from him, saying "hi how's you" was busy didn't respond and didn't think much of it, the next day my sister (who works with his dad) told me that they had recently split up (like very recent 2 weeks max) his wife choice she just said she didn't want to be with him etc.

So i thought ok that explains the message considering we are not Facebook friends etc and was a little like for god sake what is it with men, suddenly he wants contact!

So I still didn't answer then today I get this message from him " prob should of mentioned in my message him single now" shock

No I have no Intrest in him, don't want to meet him etc but also don't want to be rude, what can I reply kind of ending the convo?

I was thinking something along the lines of "sorry to hear that, take care of yourself"

Oh and he will 100% know I'm also single

pocketsaviour Wed 09-Mar-16 19:08:56

How about "I see in the last 20 years you haven't learned the different between "of" and "have". May I suggest an adult literacy course to while away those lonely single hours?"

I am an awful cow though grin

Waltermittythesequel Wed 09-Mar-16 19:10:16

I would probably assume that he mentioned it in case you thought he was a scumbag trying to cheat on his wife!

I think your response is fine.

It doesn't have to be a big deal.

Weymouthmouth Wed 09-Mar-16 19:14:49

Just annoys me how exes seem to come out the woodwork when they find themselves suddenly single, it's not the first time this has happened to me, it's like they think oh let go back there for something to do so I'm not alone

ScarletForYa Wed 09-Mar-16 19:17:51

I wouldn't reply at all.

VulcanWoman Wed 09-Mar-16 19:23:40

Is it possible he's been thinking about you all these years, grasping at straws, old romantic fool that I am.

Weymouthmouth Wed 09-Mar-16 19:27:30

Possibly Vulcan, he didn't take the break up well

Weymouthmouth Wed 09-Mar-16 19:28:06

That's why I want to reply in the right way, don't want to be rude but don't want to strike up a convo

Coconutty Wed 09-Mar-16 19:29:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty Wed 09-Mar-16 19:30:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VulcanWoman Wed 09-Mar-16 19:31:39

Was he no good then.

OhShutUpThomas Wed 09-Mar-16 19:31:51

Id probably reply 'what a shame for you. Please don't pursue whatever designs you have here though, as I am not interested.'

Ameliablue Wed 09-Mar-16 19:32:14

Just don't reply and if he asks when you see him next say you never got it, perhaps it went in the junk box.

VulcanWoman Wed 09-Mar-16 19:34:22

I don't agree with not replying, that's just rude and crappy.

Coconutty Wed 09-Mar-16 19:36:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weymouthmouth Wed 09-Mar-16 19:39:46

Yes I thought it would be rude not to reply, but just want a short reply that doesn't spark a convo or give any wrong ideas

Sparklingbrook Wed 09-Mar-16 19:41:08

Don't reply and block him.

Seeyounearertime Wed 09-Mar-16 19:50:58

"Hiya, Sorru i haven't replied sooner i just couldn't for the life of me remember who you are, sorry, now i've remembered. fuck off. TaTa"

HungoverLikeaSpunMoorhenChick Wed 09-Mar-16 19:52:43

One word answer...


HeartsTrumpDiamonds Wed 09-Mar-16 19:54:15

"Sorry to hear that. I wish you the best for the future."

THEN block and ignore.

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHamm0ck Wed 09-Mar-16 19:55:18

I had a similar situation recently. No contact in 10 years, FB message out of the blue. I ignored it. I really wouldn't bother to engage...

MakeItRain Wed 09-Mar-16 19:55:42

Difficult one really, because really your reply says "thanks but not interested" which could be as upsetting to him as not replying. I don't think I'd bother. You've already had the I'm not interested conversation even if it was 20 years ago.

Ameliablue Wed 09-Mar-16 19:59:59

I've replied to guys before purely to be polite and found just that was enough to give them hope, so I don't think it is rude to not reply.

LeanneBattersby Wed 09-Mar-16 20:03:09

Just don't reply. Who cares about being rude to someone you haven't seen for 20 years? I can guarantee whatever you reply he'll take it as an 'in'. He has no way of ever knowing if you even got his messages.

HelsBels3000 Wed 09-Mar-16 20:13:41


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