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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Problems of emotional abuse...

(6 Posts)
EasyToEatTiger Wed 09-Mar-16 18:07:03

Just wondering how long people have endured it before recognising what's going on? For my part I have been to endless marriage coucellors throughout a 20 year relationship before the penny has finally dropped. I have tried to share responsibility for our relationship, but when my husband said what he said and walked out a couple of weeks ago, it finally dawned on me that when he first hit me 18 years ago, he only ever meant to shut me up and to hurt me. When he calls me a cunt, he means it. My dd has suffered enormously, and finally I have told the appropriate people what is going on. I don't know what is going to happen next. We have an appointment with the child psychiatrist in a couple of weeks and I have told her that I think my husband does not like women. For the record, he thinks his daughter's husband is probably not very nice to her.

Marchate Wed 09-Mar-16 18:29:34

Some older women I know didn't realise until their husband died. Suddenly (yes I do believe it was sudden) they found they could do things. All their lives they had asked permission, dodged bullets, kept quiet

Ohb0llocks Wed 09-Mar-16 18:33:10

It took me round about a year (thanks to MN and the lovely women who frequent the relationships threads)

EasyToEatTiger Wed 09-Mar-16 18:43:14

Sadly my mum was brought down by early onset Alzheimer's, probably in part because of the abuse she and all of us suffered. To late.

peggy29 Wed 09-Mar-16 18:48:07

20 years too. Thanks to mn really. I'm still not out but working on it now. Amazingly my h seems to have sensed this is the case and has suddenly changed. Too late for me though, it won't last and I can't stand the sight of him. Good luck

EasyToEatTiger Wed 09-Mar-16 18:52:52

Yes, thanks to MN too. I'm in touch with WA and it's for real. I have told h about WA but not that I've been to the dcs schools and told the shrink. Thank you all you lovely people here on MN. I am able to breathe because of you. Now I'll go and light a cigarette. All this air is a bit too much!

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