Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How long before he said 'I love you?'

(36 Posts)
Dollywiththebolly Wed 09-Mar-16 06:15:44

Just that really. We're 3 months in but see each other almost every day & the words have already slipped out of my mouth, I couldn't help myself. He makes me feel all fizzy. He hasn't said it back yet but I can tell by his actions how much he likes/loves me. But it got me wondering, how long before your significant other said those words to you?

hejsvejs Wed 09-Mar-16 06:21:53

Three weeks, but it felt way too early and left me wondering how sincere his words were. (They slipped out accodently during an intense moment.)

I wouldn't worry about if I were you, some people take longer than others. And when he finally says it, you'll know that he really means it.

StillAwakeAndItIsLate Wed 09-Mar-16 06:47:02

I think 3 months is really soon. 3 weeks is scary!

How can you love someone after such a short time? I do sometimes wonder what people mean by it too. I've had 2 LTRs as an adult, and was married to one of them, but I know neither of them loved me. Neither have any of the short term relationships I've had before or since.

Is it really possible to love someone after such a short period of time?

StillAwakeAndItIsLate Wed 09-Mar-16 06:48:55

Don't get me wrong, there's been like, fondness, affection and lust along the way. But nothing I'd describe as love.

Patheticfallacy Wed 09-Mar-16 07:50:38

6 months in. That was about right for us.

Tomboyinatutu Wed 09-Mar-16 07:56:55

Before we 'officially' got together. We had been good friends for almost 6 years though and definitely both felt the same

VeronicaDinner Wed 09-Mar-16 07:59:09

Anywhere between a couple of weeks and four or so months.

The ones where we said it too early turned out to be the flashes in the pan, definitely.

pinkchampagne1 Wed 09-Mar-16 08:00:51

After around 4 months

TattieHowkerz Wed 09-Mar-16 08:49:07

A year.

But I know I'm the only person he's said it to (relationship-wiser, obviously he tells DD he loves her).

I was ok with that because I knew he loved me well before he said it, and I hadn't said it to him either.

MirandaWest Wed 09-Mar-16 08:54:32

DP and I said to each other after a few weeks. Probably was a combination of extreme like and lust and compatibility but we were both in the same place about it.

x2boys Wed 09-Mar-16 10:51:07

a couple of weeks our relationship got very serious very quickly we got married six months after meeting and pregnant six months later still together 11 years on.

TurnOffTheTv Wed 09-Mar-16 10:54:25

About two weeks. Still madly in love years later!

MagicPotion Wed 09-Mar-16 10:55:51

About a year, I think. It slipped out after sex blush. Happily, he said he felt the same.

I'd been feeling it for a few months, but we were both being quite cautious as had both come out of long term relationships not long before getting together.

15 years later. He is a right slush bucket nowadays and says it multiple times a day grin

gunting Wed 09-Mar-16 11:00:58

I think it was about 3 months. He said it in bed before we went to sleep and I thought I'd misheard and didn't want to say it back incase I was wrong blush

Cocolepew Wed 09-Mar-16 11:19:48

About a week.

Toomuchinfo1 Wed 09-Mar-16 12:57:14

my (now ex) boyfriend did it in a strange way, about a month in. (we had known each other from when we were kids, so didn't feel too soon)

he was telling me about a conversation between him and his mate, and said 'so yeh, I was telling XXXX that I think I might love you'

think he was nervous and he found it easier to say it that way!

everyone is different - just try to stay relaxed about it, and then it will be extra lovely when he says it smile

bossbabebot Wed 09-Mar-16 13:08:18

After a couple of months my BF ( now DH number three - and he is a keeper) would say 'I like you .... A lot' was like watching Kryton in Red Dwarf saying 'smeg head'.......

Quite soon after that love came into the conversation. But before love was said, we had a 'state of the Union' conversation. I had two children and couldn't have any more - obv if he wanted his own then he was barking up the wrong tree. He said he wasn't bothered about having kids and he felt too old ( forty) to start. I said he would need to move in with me as my two were at high school - he agreed. He then said he couldn't get married in a church .... This was the first time he had spoken about being that involved. And a couple of weeks later he popped the question.

12 years later and we are still mad about each other and funnily enough this marriage has lasted longer than numbers one and two combined!

TheNaze73 Wed 09-Mar-16 13:36:38

Read this thread with a lot of interest & there are some lovely stories on here smile Is the expectation really, that a guy should say it first? I never have and I am intrigued and why that should be in 2016?
Sorry if this constitutes high jacking a thread

VirginiaWoofs Wed 09-Mar-16 13:52:18

I seriously said it to DP at about 4 months. He said it back (seriously) straight away. It was a nice moment - we'd just spent the day with my parents (he was meeting them for the first time)


DP actually said it by accident at about 2 months in! He didn't realise he'd said it but obviously I did grin it was in a jokey context: "it's a good job i love you then isn't it!"

He still doesn't believe he said it first!

VirginiaWoofs Wed 09-Mar-16 13:54:42

And if anyone thinks 4 months is too soon - we lived in flats next each other and subsequently spent time together every day. We were friends for about 6 months beforehand too. So I think we knew each other very well by the time we said it.

flanjabelle Wed 09-Mar-16 13:56:21

About 4 months. That was 8 years ago, I don't think it was too soon. I just realised how bloody happy he made me, and how I didn't for a second feel like I needed to be anything but me.

Patterkiller Wed 09-Mar-16 13:58:55

DH told me on our first date, he was a bit drunk and don't know if he remembers doing it. I think after that it was about two months in.

Together for twenty years. He still says it too much.

IfNotNowThenWhenever Wed 09-Mar-16 14:04:25

Yeah, men have to say it first.
What??!! I don't make the rules!
Ime, most men are really careful about saying the three little words when they don't feel it.
With my boyfriend of a year, he acted like he did love me- kind, considerate, attentive, but never said it. Because he didn't.
I am talking about men 35+ though. The young uns seem to fling the phrase about willy nilly.

BearFeet Wed 09-Mar-16 14:06:34

4 months. Dh said it first.

Flingingmelon Wed 09-Mar-16 14:10:00

A year! We were all ready to move in together.

I got really emotional stood outside our local Topps Tiles and whilst crying, said I couldn't live with him if he couldn't tell me he loved me.

He told me he loved me. grin

In almost twenty years, not including our wedding and written in cards, he's only said it about ten times.

I know he does though, you don't need words to tell someone you love them.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now