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At breaking point

(12 Posts)
Haribogirl Mon 07-Mar-16 18:12:59

I'll try not to drip feed!!

Partner and I have been together 13 years 61 and 57

Things havnt been good since his retirement, he was leaning on me everyday to come up with things to do for the day, and when it got to the point where I couldn't come up with ideas, it would end up in us having words.

So fast forward he as now found an old school friend who he goes out with on a Friday night(great bit of me time) started going for coffee and a look round shops.
So much so that it's turned completely round that he does 80% on his own and perhaps ask 1/2 do I wanna go for coffee.

He now doesn't mention where he's been/going and just goes out and comes back 2/3 hours later. If I happen to mention where did you get too he says
Do you what me to give you a running commentary from beginning to end.

I have had thoughts is he seeing somebody a couple of times, because of the way he's changed. He's completely different person.
So quite a few arguements, not speaking over the past 2 years.
I tried lots of times to discuss our differences, but he's the kind of person that never sorts anything out, sweeps it under the carpet.
So will now just say I'm not discussing it, I'm not arguing and I'm going out.

So fast forward to this weekend
I was looking in wardrobe and I found 2 chocolate bars
One with. I Love You
One with You Melt my Heart

Searching further I found a
Box of Durex
A Beaverbrook receipt for £169

Well I was fuming, I rang Beaverbrooks it's turns out to be a
Ladies watch(no I never got it)

He was out at this time, so I lay them on the dressing table in bedroom for when he came in. He came in went upstairs, came down and went back out in the car!
Returned about 15 mins later(been supermarket) made a brew and came in lounge. Never said a word! Just watched the tv
So I said so what's your explanation for all that shit!!
To which I got I'm going to ring the police on you, routing in my things invasion of my property. I don't look in your draw/cupboard.

He answers were
The watch was for me!! Took it back( we weren't getting on supposedly)
The chocolate was for me, but didn't give it me. We were fine at valentines, he said it doesn't have to be for.then only.
The Durex (lubricant) was because I was getting sore when we were having sex(not bothered for last 12/14 mths (his choice) I've tried but get
It's only when you feel like it! Your time! Its only so many times you can get rejected.

I'm not buying it, he had time to think of his answers !
He said I'm mental, it's in my head and why don't I go then!
So we're back to not speaking.

Am I out of order?


DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Mon 07-Mar-16 18:17:46

Please leave him. He will destroy you mentally. He's a cheat and emotionally abusive as well as pathetic. Call the police? What will they do! Yes officer I live here and looked in a wardrobe that belongs in my house.....

MidnightVelvetthe5th Mon 07-Mar-16 18:22:34

No of course you're not out of order, you went into a cupboard in your own bedroom in your own house. You could have been cleaning rather then rooting through...

He doesn't sound a delight tbh, what do you want to do? brew

pocketsaviour Mon 07-Mar-16 18:30:33

What's the situation legally? Do you rent or own, whose name is the house in? Are you married?

Haribogirl Mon 07-Mar-16 18:35:04

Exactly what I said
I was cleaning!

He looks at it as his clothes, etc in there NOBODY goes in it (ffs)

My thoughts are all over the place!
Fuck him I'm off one minute. To
Can this ever work.

I'm sick of sitting in totally silence or acting like nothing's happened.
Like today
Came back after being out,
Opened letter, said guess what the price is (something he asked about)
Took dad out for a walk round estate(dads got dementia)!!

Ate his sandwich (which he bought from shop for himself) and drink
Then fucked of out again half an hour later.

He's just come in and said he'd done my car tyres !!

I want to scream fucking sort this out, and stop playing mind games with me.

Haribogirl Mon 07-Mar-16 18:40:48

He's my partner

We own tenants in common.
We argue about that as

House was 160k, I put 80k deposit from equity from MY previous house
He Nothing.
He pays the mortgage of 80k his side of the deal.

Long story I've written about before his believes what he thinks he's due
In the event off!!! Thinks I or Anybody else who ring fences there deposit is a
Fucking devious Bitch

pocketsaviour Mon 07-Mar-16 19:30:10

So did you protect your deposit, or not?

TBH I would go to see a solicitor before making any decisions about leaving. You need information. Knowledge is power.

You already know he's cheating, what you need to know is how to protect your finances in the event of a split.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 07-Mar-16 19:37:56

I second ps that you should seek legal advice to find out exactly where you stand financially in the event that you decide to split up, but why haven't you asked him why he's playing mind games with you?

Haribogirl Mon 07-Mar-16 20:57:49

It's protected I was advised to 13 yrs ago by solicitor

I have had legal advice in the past, just In case.

I have asked on more than one occasion! His answers is
Don't start again, bringing all that shit up. Believe what you what to believe.

I suppose I'm waiting for him to say I
There really is nobody and Try to convince me or show me some postive steps
But I think he would rather let us split up, then to try and work it out

Things that say yes to affair are
1. Why didn't he show me receipt that he took watch back!
2. We don't need Durex!! Wether lubricant or not. We'd just use ky or something no bloody Durex
3. I think the chocolate of her

I'm I getting this all wrong! Is it me

If you were in my shoes, what's your thoughts?
I feel I'm going fucking mental, and it's all in my mind

Haribogirl Mon 07-Mar-16 22:01:58


DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Mon 07-Mar-16 23:29:52

Get legal advice tomorrow and start preparing to leave. Keep paperwork safe, at a friends if needed and separate money if needed and possible.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 07-Mar-16 23:36:42

Get some legal advice and leave, be happy.

Life's too short to waste on somebody that treats you that way

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