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Oh bloody hell [Images may be triggering - warning added by MNHQ]

(297 Posts)
iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:42:18

Name changed. My face is scratched up to shit. Can't leave the house. He is a complete and utter bastard. Reported him so many times and the police don't care. Then again, I am a fool for continuing to see him.

Joysmum Sun 06-Mar-16 11:43:18

Please, report again sad

LIZS Sun 06-Mar-16 11:44:06

See a gp , get it documented and report. If you don't live together cut first and look for ways to move on, maybe through wa.

pinkyredrose Sun 06-Mar-16 11:44:29

Is it a man or a cat? If it's a man call police, they do take dv seriously,

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:44:35

I have many times sad I am supposed to be going out in half an hour. No amount of make up is going to cover this up. I feel awful

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:45:23

Haha, I wish it was a cat. Actually that's quite a good excuse. Except I don't have a cat...

LIZS Sun 06-Mar-16 11:45:24

Maybe that is the push you need, if you can no longer hide it.

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:46:41


Ledkr Sun 06-Mar-16 11:49:08

What do you want to do about it?
Tell us then we can give you proper advice.

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:51:24

I don't know. I am at a loss here. I have reported him many times. No-one seems to care. But then again it's my fault for falling for his bullshit time and time again...

LizKeen Sun 06-Mar-16 11:52:09

Does he live with you?

Will this be the final straw do you think?

PotteringAlong Sun 06-Mar-16 11:52:28

They do care. But if you keep going back to him there's a limit to what they can do to help you.

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:53:01

I have got to leave the house (thankfully we don't live together), but what am I supposed to say? There are scratches all over my face, dried blood erc. Tried to clean it off but looks like I have been attacked by a zombie sad

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:53:39

I see what you are saying pottering I am a complete and utter idiot.

LittleRedSparke Sun 06-Mar-16 11:54:59

It doesnt matter what you look like, just get yourself safe.

Bruises fade, and scratches heal, but you need to get safe - but if you feel like going back to him, just look at your photo again and remember why

good luck xx

LizKeen Sun 06-Mar-16 11:56:02

Well it isn't your fault, but if you are putting yourself in the situation again and again then it may seem like there is nothing that can be done. No one can help you truly until you are ready to help yourself.

It is very difficult to not get sucked back in. He probably knows how to play you very well. But at some point enough has to be enough.

MidnightVelvetthe5th Sun 06-Mar-16 11:57:54

No you're not an idiot, not at all. The realities of living in a DV relationship are complex & varied & there are many reasons why women don't/can't leave. You are not an idiot.

However make this the last time! I am appalled by your photo. I am appalled that it has happened more than once. Make this the last time & keep this photo so when he tries to get you back you can look at it & say this is what happens if I take him back. You know it won't stop, it can only get worse so don't believe the lies.

Break it off with him today, if you need more advice on what to do then just say smile

As to today, you say 'this is what DP did to me so I have left him'. You don't have to cover for him, the shame is not yours xx

LilaTheTiger Sun 06-Mar-16 11:58:05

Tell the truth. "My boyfriend did it". Maybe the horror with which people respond (directed at HIM, not you) will demonstrate to you what's going on here.

And report him, again. Walk into a police station if you can, if not phone 101 and ask for a DV officer visit later.

I'm so sorry you haven't been heard before. flowers

Guiltypleasures001 Sun 06-Mar-16 11:58:15

Hi op sorry you have gone through this

How about where ever you have to go who ever it is to see , be honest and tell them what's happened and what's continuing to happen. Shining a light on this takes away the secret and diminishes the power over you.

If everyone knows assuming they don't at the moment, it may change the game and allows you to make different choices this time. If you can't hide then you have to emerge in to the light, it's effectively ripping the plaster off and exposing the wound to the air.

It's hard lovely but surly not as hard as going through this one more time, let the next report be the last before you end up not being able to next time. thanks

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 11:58:28

Thanks red I can't believe I have let myself get into this situation again. I am a good person, I work hard, I don't deserve this. Every time he has hit me or whatever, I have forgiven him because he does the crying 'I will never do that again' bullshit. Last time I reported him to the police. They didn't bother to follow it up despite me asking them to. And now I look like something out of a horror film.

forumdonkey Sun 06-Mar-16 12:00:30

Please go to police and report it, especially when there is physical evidence. I understand where you are coming from that they don't care because with some of my reports of DV, including being headbutted in the street with a witness weren't taken serious but my final assault was taken seriously so please keep reporting.

Please do not go back to him - ever

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 12:01:20

Thank you all. I feel so annoyed with myself right now. Trying to get ready to leave the house, but can't put make up on as it hurts. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this???

allegretto Sun 06-Mar-16 12:03:14

You don't deserve it!

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 12:04:02

Fucking fucks sake

iamacompleteandutteridiot Sun 06-Mar-16 12:04:21

How the hell am I supposed to explain this??

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