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OMG the pain

(16 Posts)
allgoodthings3 Sun 06-Mar-16 07:06:51

My husband has been having an affair for 10 years.

I didnt know a thing......everyone knew

The lies and lies he told me.

This is the worst pain I have ever felt the shock omg

Wen does it get better plese help me make it go away

IWantToLiveInPawnee Sun 06-Mar-16 07:22:10

I'm so sorry.

What an awful shock, have you support in RL?


IWantToLiveInPawnee Sun 06-Mar-16 07:23:32

Ps, yes you will feel better in time but right now you are in shock and need looking after and support.

ravenmum Sun 06-Mar-16 07:33:20

It hurts like hell, doesn't it. Get yourself some support - friends, family, GP, therapist. Get away from him and find a safe corner where you can link your wounds.
It takes a while but it does get better - very likely a lot better than it was with him. The pain opens up your eyes and makes you see everything differently. The anger that will come too can help you make changes for the better.
Get help. You may be surprised by who helps. Don't hide your problem. See the doctor.

sofato5miles Sun 06-Mar-16 07:36:27

How awful. How did you fund out? Do you know her? Did your friends know?

Tell someone you trust and do not talk to your husband for a few days to give yourself some space. Is he out of the house?

tomatoplantproject Sun 06-Mar-16 07:37:23

I'm so sorry - the pain is awful. Its the shock. You need people to look after you whilst you're going through this. Have you just discovered it?

IWantToLiveInPawnee Sun 06-Mar-16 11:45:36

Op, really hope you come back on for support. Thinking of you

Pinkheart5915 Sun 06-Mar-16 11:50:08

What an awful shock.
I can't imagine what it feels like to have your husband betray you in such a way.

Have you got anyone you can talk to A close friend? A parent? Don't deal with it alone!

My dad had an affair and left my mum when I was 15, it took my mum a while but she did find happiness again.

Your husband has treated you very badly, he doesn't deserve you flowers

LittleRedSparke Sun 06-Mar-16 12:04:47

Oh no, what a shock, no helpful words flowers

BunnyTyler Mon 07-Mar-16 09:37:48

I was you last year - discovered his affair, found out it had been 10 years long (my husband started his affair when I had our youngest child).

You are in a huge amount of shock right now, just do the basic things you need to do (make sure money is secure etc) and take a few days to absorb the shock.
Speak to friends and family in real life - it is not your shame, it is his.

It is hard and it is a long road, but it does get better, I promise. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself to 'get over it' quickly.

I am 7 months on now, I'm still sad at the waste of it all, but I have my self esteem and I am positive and confident.
I am a long way from the woman I was 7 months ago.


Toomuchinfo1 Mon 07-Mar-16 10:14:31

so sorry to read this. I hope you are ok OP. I'm not best placed to advise, but I'm sure the lovely people on here can help you.

I just wanted to send my love and positive thoughts, I'm sure it does get better xxxxx

Quityabitchen Mon 07-Mar-16 10:18:03

You poor thing, what a horrible shock. Be kind to yourself, lean on family and friends, get the real-life support you need.

Sending you strength to get through this flowers

IWantToLiveInPawnee Mon 07-Mar-16 12:31:19

How are you doing op?

allgoodthings3 Mon 07-Mar-16 14:07:25

Thank you all so much.

A couple of days can make such a difference.

I called the Samaritans after I wrote the message the lady just listened which was so comforting.

I was in total and utter shock. Now I feel much better I would rather lose a cheating fool than love a liar.

Im trying to move on one day at a time and be strong for my children.

Its a horrible roller coaster but with support (and there is lots out there for whoever needs it) I know I can move on from this.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write messages, I really appreciate it.

HoppingForward Mon 07-Mar-16 15:11:57

Has he moved out? You can use the early days of shock and adrenalin to get your ducks in a row.

ravenmum Mon 07-Mar-16 16:18:24

Look after yourself, and good luck.

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