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Something is missing in our relationship?

(2 Posts)
falko89 Sat 05-Mar-16 21:17:14

My other half and I have been together for 16 years now, we're not married as could never afford a wedding, we are both shy people so there was never any lovey dovey shows off affection anyway but as the years have gone on I have come to notice something is missing, we seem to be more like friends than anything, I don't like to raise the subject incase I am totally wrong but even more scary is what if I am right?

There is just little things that occur that lead me to this conclusion, for example last year her grandmother passed away, I remember at the funeral as they lowered the body to the ground all the couple were standing around holding hands etc, I made a move to hold her hand she put her arm around her brother, I mean in such at such an emotional event you go to the person who maters most to you and well that wasn't me, or even this week we had a family birthday party, all the couples were sitting around together chatting to other couples, she was stood at the other side of the room all night talking to anyone and everyone bar me while I sat like a plonker by myself all night.

Thats just a couple of things but there a countless others that leads me to my conclusion. Do you think I am overthinking? We have also not slept in the same bed for about 2-3 year, she sleeps with our son, that started when he used to play up in the middle of the night its a habit that stuck, she probably could get out but choses to sleep in there.

holeinmyheart Sat 05-Mar-16 21:48:23

Oh doesn't sound like you have a healthy relationship. If you were both happy with a sex less relationship it would be fine. But you are not happy with the status quo. Horribly shy as you may be, you need to get talking about your unhappiness.
I would go and book myself in for some counselling so that I learn how to communicate, without being aggressive. You are after all, not looking for blame but a solution. Then move onto couples counselling.

It may be that you can't rekindle any feeling, but, if you decide it is worth trying to, then you need to change your passive acceptance of this situation.
First of all your partner needs to come out of your sons' bed and back into yours to have any chance of a physical relationship.
You desperately need to talk to her.
Sorry you are in this miserable situation!

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