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Finally split

(11 Posts)
FindMyHappyPlace Sat 05-Mar-16 16:38:05

Bit scared....have a 3 year old and no job (I found a job but now won't be able to take it now). We can't stay together, he has a CR for abuse and battery towards me and I've finally seen the light. Also won't have to put up with rude,disrespectful,lazy behaviour of his older two children. They are not bad kids, just allowed to get away with it.

We own the house jointly so have that to sort and a need to see what other help I an get.

It's all so scary and I keep having panic attack at the thought of not being with him. I'm in my mid 30's so I guess not too old to start again

PurpleWithRed Sat 05-Mar-16 16:42:17

Well done, you've done the right thing for you your DC and yourself. It may be hard in the short term but will be worth it.

You can start again if you want to when you want to - of course you're not too old - but there really is no rush. Enjoy a bit of space and security and allow yourself to know your'e a capable person in your own right.

FindMyHappyPlace Sat 05-Mar-16 17:06:26

Thanks, I feel so low but know it's over. When I get sad I make my self remember him with his foot on my throat or banging my head against the wall. This was last year. Can I get a quicker divorce? Or do I have to wait 2 years?

FindMyHappyPlace Sat 05-Mar-16 17:08:03

There were two lovely posters who really helped...bertiebotts and anyfucker.

FindMyHappyPlace Mon 07-Mar-16 17:42:50

Today I've cried all day. The pain I feel has me doubled over and not being able to breath sad

sarahlou75 Mon 07-Mar-16 17:57:25

Hold tight it gets easier. You're grieving. Probably for the relationship as you hoped it would be rather than the reality of living in fear.
I was 37 and had an 18mth DD it wasn't easy. It took time and counselling. But I'm happy, she's happy. We are safe. Money is tight but we are ok. You will be too flowers

Morasssassafras Mon 07-Mar-16 19:16:21

You can divorce him due to his unreasonable behaviour, so you won't have to wait 2 years. You may also be able to get legal aid to fund it. If you've had any contact with your local domestic abuse people then they may be able to suggest good solicitors in your area.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 07-Mar-16 19:20:24

Why do you appear to believe that you have to wait 2 years before you can divorce?

If you've been married for more than one year you can file for divorce now on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour and, as he has a criminal record for violence towards you, you may be eligible for legal aid.

Make contact with your nearest Women's Aid service and ask for recommendations for solicitors who specialise in divorce and family law and have specific experience in cases of dv.

confusion77 Mon 07-Mar-16 21:55:24

Did you end it find? My husband isn't physical but is controlling and emotionally abusive. Not that he would Ever think it true of him. I just don't know where to start to finish it.

FindMyHappyPlace Tue 08-Mar-16 17:30:05

He left...I know in my heats it's for the best, it just hurts so much.

goddes I just always thought you had to be seperated for 2 years...not sure why. We've been married over 4 years.

MoreGilmoreGirls Tue 08-Mar-16 17:37:10

You have to be separate for 2 years unless you have other grounds for divorce which you do. He has a CR so should not be too difficult. Good luck. I got divorced mid 30s best thing I ever did. Contact women's aid for advice and support.

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