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Ex partner behaviour(4 Posts)
I've been reading MN for months now but never posted before.
So here goes please be kind as feeling quite sad about things
Had been in a relationship for the last 2 years.
I'll give you some back story:
When we first met everything was prefect and it wasnt long before I came pregnant, then it all started to change.
Things like I had male friends, which one is had for many yrs, but then he started going on about them and made me block all male friends and a female friend, who he didn't like. I did this to make him happy and didn't want the hassle of it all, so just made life easier.
Then he started getting annoyed over silly things and questioning me all the time even if I went to the shop, every time he shouted and would never believe anything I said, it was horrible. When he was like this he would just go out, drinking, ignoring all my messages or sending nasty messages back, it would go on for days him not talking to me, even if he came back he would ignore me but speak to the children. He would Say it was all my fault and I need to apologise, I really didn't understand it as I hadn't done anything wrong, and it was him who was swearing, calling me names etc, but then I would have to apologise for things id never did, just agree with him to make us get on and it be all better.
This continued all the time. I'm sure he must of been parnoid or something I really didn't get it, but the things he'd say weren't true but was always making out I was lying and twisting everything, so I always just agreed as I was scared of losing him. So silly I guess, but wanted to make it work as I love him and for our dc.
We spilt up last summer, and that was terrible all the blame on me, that I was this bitch etc and a liar, I'd continued to see my friends even though I didn't, and I honestly didn't, but he always knew right abs said I was, nothing I said he ever believed.
Anyway beginning of January we started getting on better and started seeing each other more, and it was really good, got on great.
Then he started questioning me if I'd become friends with anyone on FB which I had a male, someone I'd worked with yrs ago, he sent me a friend request and I added him, but yet again he didn't belive this, starts making up his own thoughts what must of happened. So now it's got to that he thinks I was having an affair with him all the time we were together, even though I was pregnant for a lot of this with a new baby and with him 24/7 he stills thinks I was. In the end he went on and on so much I just agreed with him as I couldn't stand the questioning anymore, he still going on about it now. When he starting it he literally was screaming at me and physicaly pushed me out his house this is before I agreed to all his paranio that's all I can think it is. Anyway we are now not together, as he thinks I'm some person that's goes round sleeping with someone, which I'm not. I did originally tell him the truth and all he says is no your lying I know the truth blah blah blah so whatever I say he doesn't believe me, only his own thoughts. So very weird.
I feel sad though that now as I've agreed with him he know thinks Im this and tell all his family and friends, which isn't true.
Anyway at least I'm out of that now, even though it's hard as in a bloody stupid way I do love him.
Just needed to write it down thanks for reading of you did
He's abusive, it's hard to see sometimes, read it back to yourself and imagine you are giving someone else advice.
You need to leave him. But it's so much easier said than done.
My only advice Is whatever you do it will never be enough so stop bothering.
You need to end this relationship. He sounds awful.
Can you call YWCA, Salvation Army, a church or women's group and get advice and help. The police can also direct you and MN has a list of contact #s for women in your situation. You need to reach out op and get help for you and your dcc. I am praying for you. Please act for the sake of your self and your dcc.
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