If someone (male) you were at school with almost 40 years ago contacted you

[TheClosingChapter]

out of the blue, what would their motivation be? We have had no contact since we were 12, I'm now almost 50. Got an email saying (paraphrased) "Hi, bumped into someone who sent me copies of old school photographs, and thought I'd contact you as I admired your intellect."

Doubly weird because I now live on the other side of the world, have been married (so changed my name but am now separated, heading for divorce) and have no friends in common, so he must have had to do some serious googling to find me.

I've done a quick bit of internet stalking in return and he seems well respected in his field and on the level. He was a nice kid when we were 12 and we were friendly although not romantically involved at all. Should I reply or leave it?

[SirChenjin]

Admired your intellect?

It's impossible to say what their motivation might be - could be anything from a genuine 'haven't thought about you in ages, saw some old photographs recently and curiosity got the better of me - how are you?' to 'I've held a torch for you all the years' to 'I have come into millions and need a UK bank account to launder it through pay it in to'

Do you want to reply?

[Lovetruelove]

You know the answer you will get on here - we are all bitter and twisted

[ImperialBlether]

Oh I'd have to reply. I'd be too nosy not to!

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Im naturally cynical, but I'd take it at face value. I've a few old schoolmates on Facebook who have contacted me in a similar way, male and female.

[TheClosingChapter]

I am deeply curious must confess.

But don't want to get involved in any weirdness, although I suppose as I'm many thousands of miles away I should be fairly safe! I have some issues surrounding the place we grew up and my time there so that explains some of my caution.

Lol to money laundering. And the intellect thing did make me but we were both top of the class at an academically selective school so perhaps not so odd. Unrequited passion ummm...

So have drafted an email saying

"Wow, unexpected contact. How are you? I've not lived in [x place where we grew up] since the mid 80s and it seems you've left as well. As you know I've moved to the UK and have been living here for over 25 years. I'm running my own business, have two lovely kids. So apart from being a [insert occupation] what have you been up to?"

Sufficiently bland?

[SirChenjin]

Perfect

It'll either be the start of a rekindled friendship or you'll exchange a couple of emails and it will fizzle out. Of course, what I secretly hope will happen is that the 2 of you end up together

[sonjadog]

I would reply. It is probably just curiosity. If it turns out to be something odd, please come back and update us.

[Nydj]

Are you ok with revealing that you have been 'researching' him as the info in your email about what his occupation is isn't in his original email - at least in your summary of it?

[TheClosingChapter]

Nydj I'm fine with revealing I googled in return. He did tell me in his email anyway - I wrote a very short synopsis for the op.

So email sent.

Arf at SirChenjin. That would be worth of an epic ChickLit novel. Have looked at old school photos myself now and he was very sweet at 12. Unlikely to end up as long lost soulmates who reconnect through the wonders of Google though.

[SirChenjin]

Unlikely - but not impossible

[dodobookends]

[amarmai]

he's had a breakup, and he's heard you've had a bu and he always liked you +FB! Go for it and get back to us!

[springydaffs]

Aw I think it's lovely. You could just be friends, whatever. I think it's great and I wish more people would do it and not wait for livingstone intros, all the while spending a lifetime wondering how people are but not doing anything about it.

It may, or may not, suggest he is at a loose end - as it were.

[Gabilan]

I'd get in touch, if he was a friend then. Sometimes I get FB friend requests from kids who bullied me at school. Those I just block.

[Trills]

I am also hoping for the novel version...

[newyear16]

I would be happy. I've been a member of friendsreunited, now defunct, through which I got in contact with lots of old school friends. It's been nice to find out what they've been doing all these years.

[Trills]

Did he really "admire your intellect" when you were 12?

[Seeyounearertime]

Could It be that the man has contacted all of your old school chums and you?

[TheClosingChapter]

Just got in from a night out with girlfriends. Had a reply already. Just general chitchat but did say had 2 children, was single and has been for some time... Seems very nice.

Trills no idea about the intellect thing. Odd term of phrase but he is a bit of a boffin. I will ask him about it in my reply which I will need to sleep on. He also said I had the coolest haircut, which was a Purdey style pageboy. Lol!

[RedOnHerHedd]

I reckon he's recruiting for his successful global business that you can work around your family and make millions selling aloe cum juice.

[Slowdecrease]

Brilliant red

[WhoaCadburys]

Aww, this is the sweetest thread ever [grin.

I know where this is heading [wedding bells]

[Devilishpyjamas]

Pmsl at aloe juice

He may just be a nostalgic type (I am). But he's far enough away you can just reminisce safely.

[RedOnHerHedd]

Why thank you Slowdecrease

[WhereYouLeftIt]

I am FB friends with a couple of blokes I was in school with, and sadly that was almost 40 years ago . It's nice to see photos they post of where they now live/hobbies/grandchildren etc. We only messaged each other a few times at the start, just a quick catchup, then it just defaulted to 'liking' the occasional post.

I occassionally put the names of old schoolfriends/work colleagues into FB/Google to see if anyone else is around.