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Blue ticks on whatssapp

(14 Posts)
Rugbycomet Wed 02-Mar-16 20:25:36

Ok....some of you may or not know that DH and I live in different countries. That is not the issue!
However.....he disabled his blue ticks, ie read on whatsapp about six months ago. He said it was because he felt pressurised to answer immediately by me....I sort of understood/understand. However, I have been thinking/overthinking that as we are a couple, why does he feel like that?? Isn't that what it's about in a relationship in the sense that you are a couple...I mean!, if a couple and married, then why should it be an issue for him? I know he's not having an affair,--as nobody would have him-- lol
So...I want to block the blue ticks but I feel it's childish....am a being silly?? Sorry, don't really know what I'm asking...just st opinions maybe.

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 02-Mar-16 20:29:26

You are over thinking. I don't think that blue ticks are the issue here. Rather the fact that you and your H dont appear to be acting as friends and partners to each other. If you're chasing, he's running away, you're setting traps, he's withdrawing, and now you're thinking of retaliating. .. then ibdo wonder why you two are married at all.

Rugbycomet Wed 02-Mar-16 20:31:46

Thanks....*ricecrispie*..... I sometimes think the same.....

VulcanWoman Wed 02-Mar-16 20:32:30

I don't have whatsapp but it's the same on Facebook with messages. I don't think it's a big deal what your husbands done, I can understand this pressure to reply. If living in different countries works for you both then great, don't think I could cope with this myself though, too much wondering time.

Cabrinha Wed 02-Mar-16 22:16:19

There are better ways of dealing with pressure from knowing a message has been read! Either working out why he feels pressure and addressing that or understanding if it's coming from your reaction to slow replies.

I work abroad week on week off, and use fb so my boyfriend and I both know when a message has been seen.

I simply don't think anything of it when he doesn't reply. And vice versa.

You should get to the bottom of what this "pressure" is.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HandyWoman Wed 02-Mar-16 22:32:31

I'm with RiceCrispie

All this talk of 'pressure to reply' are you two emotionally intimate and are you friends, and do you feel warmth towards each other, or are you married in legal terms only? Are you together only out of habit?

What if you never sent him another Whatsapp..... What then?

TokenGinger Wed 02-Mar-16 22:41:08

I personally think blue ticks are the work of the devil. It causes so many arguments for so many people.

For the record, if he has switched blue ticks off, he cannot see yours either. Once they're switched off, he can't see other people's and other people can't see his.

NuggetofPurestGreen Wed 02-Mar-16 22:45:55

don't know any of your backstory OP so don't know if there is more to it or not but I understand the 'pressure' of blue ticks and my DP has mentioned it before too. It's not that we feel under pressure to reply but to reply immediately - which sometimes you can't or don't want to do - say you are in the middle of eating your dinner or whatever. I feel the same about messages from friends - that they'll know I read it and will wonder why I didn't reply if I leave it too long! It's not a big thing but I can understand why someone wouldn't like them.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Wed 02-Mar-16 22:48:50

I don't use whatsapp but I can definitely see his pint disabling them. When I send my do a message and it shows as 'read' but he hasn't replied i do feel a bit annoyed. It only takes ten seconds to reply and since me pointing this out he is much better at replying, even if only to say 'busy now, I'll call you later X'

Sometimes I will get a message from someone when I'm in the middle of something and while I will swipe it to see what it says, I will think 'I'll reply when I've finished'. If I felt the pressure to reply or cause a problem I can imagine I might turn off my 'read receipts'. Feeling a bit guilty now for making a fuss about it with DP blush

MarkRuffaloCrumble Wed 02-Mar-16 22:49:01

Point, not pint!

FloatyFlo Wed 02-Mar-16 22:52:32

I didn't even know
You could disable blue ticks.

How please?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Wed 02-Mar-16 22:53:02

DF text me today whilst I was in a meeting (not usually in meetings at that time)

Rang as soon as I got home - and apologised for being late with a reply -

Everything has to be so instant these days - drives me nuts -

TheNaze73 Thu 03-Mar-16 00:08:40

I'm in agreement with nearly everything here. I might look at a message as MarkRuffaloCrumble said & deal with it later. Technology has been brilliant but, also puts unnecessary extra strains on relationships and as Sally said, drives me nuts too. I think rugby he's probably quite enjoying you chasing. Without wanting to sound ancient, why not stop the messages & have a conversation in the evening?

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