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Is this the end?

(2 Posts)
Bonnie152 Wed 02-Mar-16 20:21:19

I feel I'm at a massive crossroads in my relationship and looking for advice. Is this the end or could things get better?

I've been with my DH for 9 years, married for 5 with a 3 and 1 year old. We started arguing more when our first was born but since our second was born it's really ramped up. We've had a number of things going on such as bereavement and money issues to name a few and we've got to the point where it feels were just existing together. Neither of us show affection really and I find it hard to enjoy the weekends when we're all together as I just feel I resent my DH.

I feel like I'm constantly on at him as (I feel) he's quite incompetent - terrible memory, lazy and just a whole 'can't be bothered' approach to everything. It's got to the point where I feel I have to hand-hold him through everything even simple tasks such as clothing and feeding our children. Maybe this is my own doing but I can't take it anymore. I feel I have 3 children, not 2.

I'm starting to feel unsure if things will ever improve and desperately do not want to impact my children with arguing or seeing me upset as that's how I grew up. But at the same time my heart breaks for them not having the family life we planned for them. And to be honest I'm terrified of what single mum life would be like for me. Though in some ways I feel I would be an even better mum if it was just them and I.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I would be so grateful for opinions and advice. When it feels like all of the love has gone, can it ever be got back?

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 02-Mar-16 21:43:56

You need to ask yourself how much more time and effort you're willing to put in. It sounds like this could be salvageable, with couples counseling, communication and willingness on both sides. But that will take time, effort, and both of you fully participating.

On the other hand, if you're done, you're done.

Only you know the answer to that one.

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