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what should I tell my dd? i need to leave home (and dh)for a few days to think

(280 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:09:35

I need to leave home for a few days with my 6year old school going dd. I need to tell dd something that would be plausible both to her and to all her friends/teachers.

If dd didnt have school then I would be going to spend time with family. Im trying to cause miminum disruption and upset to dd. So/but I will most liikely be going to stay in a hotel for a few days.

Micah Mon 29-Feb-16 19:12:11

Work trip/job interview/see an old friend?

Few days at a spa
City break

"Just going away for a few days break" is perfectly reasonable too. I think most parents understand that one!

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:16:03

I cant camp on soneones floor as I have ill health. Otherwise that would make life easier as I would tell dd that we were doing some fun visiting.

I really do need to leave though as dh has started drinking (alcoholic) and he needs to know this is completely unacceptable

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:17:06

I want dd to continue attending school. Im not ready for big decisions right now

DoreenLethal Mon 29-Feb-16 19:18:18

How about to the school 'my husband is an alcoholic and I need to get myself and my daughter away' To your daughter 'we are going for a surprise holiday yay'.

Kirriemuir Mon 29-Feb-16 19:18:33

Work being done at the house?

XanderHarris Mon 29-Feb-16 19:19:57

So she's going with you?

NameAgeLocation Mon 29-Feb-16 19:21:32

I like Doreen's idea.

You do not have to be ashamed of your DH being an alcoholic.

PenelopePitstops Mon 29-Feb-16 19:21:34

You've booked a surprise stay in a hotel for a few days.

Stay near school, and just be honest to the teachers. They will find it easier to support dd if they know the truth.

SanityClause Mon 29-Feb-16 19:23:39

If you aren't going to stay with family or friends, you could stay in a local B&B, perhaps, and she could still go to school.

Perhaps then, you could pretend to be a "secret hotel inspector".

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:24:59

Yes most definitely taking dd with me. Im leaving so she doesnt have to see this shit. I dont want to say anything to school. I don't want social services banging at my door.

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:26:17

Yes I do plan to stay close to school. B&B is a fantastic idea. Thanks x

moreshitandnofuckingredemption Mon 29-Feb-16 19:30:38

Some sort of work at home - damp-proofing or draught-proofing, something where you wouldn't expect to see a difference when you went back.

moreshitandnofuckingredemption Mon 29-Feb-16 19:32:02

Although I also like the hotel inspector idea, your DD may tell her friends, who tell their parents. Building work is more plausible.

DoreenLethal Mon 29-Feb-16 19:32:27

Social services would not bang on your door for getting away from your alcoholic husband. That's the problem with our society - hiding this sort of behaviour under the carpet does nobody any good.

Mrscog Mon 29-Feb-16 19:34:10

Definitely building work/asbestos checks or something. Very plausible.

Blu Mon 29-Feb-16 19:34:15

Go to a local B&B, hotel, air BnB or Travelodge.
Tell your dd it is fun sometimes to have a little holiday, like sometimes you have a bed-picnic, or a lounge picnic, sometimes you have a home holiday.

OR

You won a ticket to stay in a hotel and think it would make a change

OR

The carpet / wardrobe/ kitchen cleaner is making you sneeze so you will be staying somewhere else for a while until it wears off.

7to25 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:35:21

Having asbestos removed.

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:38:12

How about a mice infestation

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:41:05

You lot are fantastic flowers

Where can I say my asbestos is please?

Millymollymoo8 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:43:22

In the ceiling!

CountessOfStrathearn Mon 29-Feb-16 19:43:55

I'd really encourage you to be honest with school. They will be able to support DD much better if they know what is happening and SS, in the unlikely event they got involved, would see your taking steps to protect DD in a very, very positive light.

As for DD, I can understand why you'd want to say something different. Asbestos is often found in the ceiling or in the loft of older house.

Hope things get better for you!

Lynnm63 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:44:22

If you're in a fairly new build then you won't have asbestos but I guess you know that. If it's an old house it could be in the walls for insulation.

ImperialBlether Mon 29-Feb-16 19:51:58

I don't blame you for doing this, but what are you hoping to achieve from it?

whattdoido Mon 29-Feb-16 19:53:42

I'm hoping that my husband will see that I'm serious and just what he will lose if he continues with this behaviour. He is a recovering alcoholic by the way. He has been dry for months until this lapse so he does know how to live dry.

Obviously he will accuse me of trying to control/blackmail him by leaving

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