Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is he just not interested?

(31 Posts)
woolystockings Mon 29-Feb-16 17:01:11

So long story coming up...there has been a guy about town that i see occasionally he seemed to like me we got chatting and exchanged numbers, turns out he is 5 yrs younger than me. He text the next day and I sad maybe I was to old for him he laughed it off but never said no your not. Then he didn't get in touch for a week so i text him and he answered straight away and we exchanged quite a few msgs but that was 3 days ago and now I'm wondering should I be first to text again or maybe I should just forget about him and move on. I'm just getting back into dating and don't really know the protocols so advice is appreciated 😊

pocketsaviour Mon 29-Feb-16 17:43:59

If you want a date with him, ask him out on a date. If he says "I'll let you know" then you'll know he's not interested.

woolystockings Mon 29-Feb-16 18:39:13

Lol I don't know if I could take the rejection shock I have typed a text and deleted it at least 10 times

ImperialBlether Mon 29-Feb-16 18:40:56

I'd leave it up to him now. If he doesn't get in touch, you know he's not interested.

woolystockings Mon 29-Feb-16 18:59:01

My heart says text my head says no. Arghh I know I shouldnt maybe he thinks I'm not really interested as I said I was to old. Its ridiculous really I truly am too old to be having these crushes lol

Rebecca2014 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:09:15

He is not into you. A man who is interested would be contacting you.

FredaMayor Mon 29-Feb-16 19:13:01


Morasssassafras Mon 29-Feb-16 19:13:28

What Rebecca said. He's not that into you op.

TheNaze73 Mon 29-Feb-16 20:45:07

I think the complete opposite. If a bloke is into you, he's not neccessrily going to chase. Personally think he's biding his time.

NewChristian Mon 29-Feb-16 20:55:27

It's impossible to know how available people really are. 5 years is not much of an age gap IMO. Unless you were 20.

Flanks Tue 01-Mar-16 06:44:05

Man perspective here.

Men are every bit afraid of rejection as women.

If he sees you as confident and attractive he may well be unsure if you are really interested in him. You may be a person that is chatty and friendly.

The standard advice of 'if he was in to you he would say so' is largely bollocks, because it cuts both ways!

Send the text, whether he says yes or no you are quids in compared to not knowing either way.

wannabestressfree Tue 01-Mar-16 06:46:07

Agree with flanks. If I had waited for my partner to make a move I would still be single and gathering dust. He is shy and very insecure.

woolystockings Tue 01-Mar-16 12:00:22

Thanks everyone. Update - I text last night and again we chatted he said he doesn't have a lot if time the now for dating i know that's true. Thought that was that but then he texted me today and we seem to be getting on well. I dont know where this can go if he has no time but now seems interested i hope he doesn't think that i could just be a prospective friend with benefits, not what i want hmm

wannabestressfree Tue 01-Mar-16 12:10:46

I would just leave the ball in his court now. If he wants to spend time with you he will. No more chasing....

ALaughAMinute Tue 01-Mar-16 12:16:05

It's good that he's come back to you but I can't help wondering if he's letting you down nicely by saying he doesn't have a lot of time for dating. He knows you're interested so he if wanted to see you he'd make time wouldn't he?

I'd leave it up to him now.

woolystockings Tue 01-Mar-16 12:20:46

Quite right wannabestressfree no more chasing. Quite good for the diet this lol stomach all butterfly's haven't felt like that for many long years ha, silly woman that I am 😂 Right better get back down to earth and fold some washing or something take my mind off it.

woolystockings Tue 01-Mar-16 12:23:29

Yes I agree I thought he was letting me down nicely but then why text first thing this morning. Very confusing but yes if he wants to see me he will make time. Will just need to see what happens

Jan45 Tue 01-Mar-16 14:15:23

So you are not good enough to date but ok to keep on the bank burner, forget him, anyone who says they are too busy for dating is giving you the complete brush off, mind, I'd not have made the contact, it was up to him to contact you, you'd done it already.

FredaMayor Wed 02-Mar-16 07:57:48

Too busy/not ready for dating = person wants you to think there is no-one else = there is someone else (probably more than one).

Op, can I gently suggest you work on your Wanker Radar?

woolystockings Wed 02-Mar-16 09:42:48

Guess I should have listened so we texted for most if the day yesterday nothing deep light hearted conversation. Then he started being more suggestive I played a long to a degree but was being more joking and sarcastic than sexual. I kept trying to turn the conversation back around but in the end I said I'm not going to be sleeping with you anytime soon that's not what I'm looking for and we ended the conversation amicably. I thought maybe he would have text this morning with better attitude but nothing. So that's enough of him now.

Viviennemary Wed 02-Mar-16 09:54:30

He might have taken you seriously when you said you're too old for him. But if he says he's too busy for dating that means he doesn't want to go on a date for the time being I'd say. I wouldn't be happy about the suggestive texts. I think I'd let this one pass on to somebody else. He sounds a bit like trouble to me.

TheJiminyConjecture Wed 02-Mar-16 10:04:49

I knew that was coming. Too busy to date usually means "I don't like you enough to make time for you" The suggestive texts mean "but I'll happily shag you until I meant someone better". Interestingly my friend was in a similar situation, his name doesn't begin with T does it? Identical situation but she sexted back and then was sad when he got a girlfriend.

woolystockings Wed 02-Mar-16 10:08:09

His name doesn't begin with a t no. Plenty more fish in the sea as they say. Although I am feeling a little silly today but its a lesson learned. Dont go chasing i think will be my new motto.

TheJiminyConjecture Wed 02-Mar-16 10:18:52

Don't feel silly. He's chanced his arm, you've seen through it.

But I don't feel like you did anything wrong by leading the chat. There's a massive difference between being upfront and looking desperate.

Plenty of fish indeed!

woolystockings Wed 02-Mar-16 10:35:44

Thanks TheJiminyConjecture he certainly did chance his arm and I hope I didn't look desperate. Kind of worried about seeing him around now but I will just smile and carry on as normal.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now