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struggling

(14 Posts)
Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 08:05:22

Hi im finding it diificult to move on from my relationship ending . my head wont stop spinning with thoughts and the emotion inside me is making feel like im being twisted inside . i understand we dont want the same thing anymore , and the dynamic have changed . i know its over and i know there's no going back but i just want it to stop .we had been through so much i guess it was just too much .she ganna do fine shes made new plans already . and she sounds happier . and more stable... I ve never broken up with someone that i still having feeling for before so its a new experience watching someone else forget you exisits... Im looking for some real advise please

RedMapleLeaf Mon 29-Feb-16 08:08:22

A few questions!

How long were you together? How old are you? How long ago did you split up?

Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 08:38:45

Im an adult , 4 years ,nearly 3 months. I tried the no contact rule , it seemed to have worked better for her than me . and i no in the grand cycle of life its not very long . but this was is my deepest emotional connection ive experienced . i m very old fashioned a bit prehistoric in some ways . but im loyal and Genuine . i feel frozen. Almost with fear and im not even sure why ... I know im a big girl but even writting this im crying . im hurting really hurting

RedMapleLeaf Mon 29-Feb-16 09:36:49

Ok, part of me thinks that a break-up just is very painful and it's natural to find it so difficult. However, another part of me recognises that if you've felt like this for 3 months (rather than revisiting the sadness) then it's time to see a doctor. It's getting towards depression and the source of that might not even be the break-up. The break-up might be triggering under-lying causes of depression and it's worth getting that checked by the doctor.

May I recommend "Mend your broken heart" by Paul McKenna? I found that it gave very practical, sensible and yet supportive advice and information.

Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 09:42:34

Im at the doctors now . im just waiting to go throught to the other side ... Im stressed. Im loosing wieght and keep randomly letting tears fall from my eyes i cant hold them in im not in hystric its more solomn... I have a look at the book thanxs

hellsbellsmelons Mon 29-Feb-16 09:53:36

Keep up the no contact.
You will be able to move on but it's still raw for you.
It's been 3 months and she's made plans.
That's a good thing for her surely.
Can you make plans?
Get out and about a bit more?
Start a new hobby to meet some like minded people?

Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 10:07:51

I ve got a lot on i keep muself as busy as i can to the point i burn out .... Everything makes me think of her ... Everything we i done was for our futures. She change me and not in a bad way . she got me to focus. And to take charge of my responsibilities it just feels like it all means nothing now ... I feel like i just gotta concentrate on today .no more plans

WeveGotAHomelessLove Mon 29-Feb-16 11:22:19

was it a bad break up? how old is she? do you have kids together?
I'm going through a break up and pretty much feel like you, I'm on ADs
I hope you get yourself sorted and keep posting if it makes you feel better flowers

RedMapleLeaf Mon 29-Feb-16 12:11:28

Could it be more that you're struggling with dealing with your new future/path rather than still being in love with your ex?

How'd it go at the doctors?

Treetop12 Mon 29-Feb-16 13:14:34

So sorry you are going through this.

get ready for the cliché, but . . . . .it DOES get better. It takes time, and tears, and sleepless nights, but it gradually gets better.

xxxxx

Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 14:42:16

The doctor said its stress and to take it slower . im just ganna take a couple of days off catch up on some sleep. I cant think properly thanxs

Halftruth Mon 29-Feb-16 14:52:03

I definitely am ganna cry me a river ..... Hopefully someone will chuck me a paddle boat. . thanxs

WeveGotAHomelessLove Mon 29-Feb-16 14:59:26

The doctors probably right, your doing too much, relax and take things easy for a while, you're going to be fine, times a great healer

RedMapleLeaf Mon 29-Feb-16 18:33:23

Some of us deal with painful feelings by filling our time up with distractions. Have you done this perhaps and your body is finally shouting, "oy! You need to accept what's happened and deal with it".

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