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Help me get my severely anxious dc to college open day today

(8 Posts)
maryscarrot Mon 29-Feb-16 07:45:58

Posting here for traffic. I have an extremely nervous dc who spent a year in hospital following a nervous breakdown. He's now out and home with me again but struggles hugely with being 'seen' out and about, because he fears being judged by others who know he dropped out of main school. Today is college open day for the course he wants but he refuses to go. I really need him to at least see the building before he starts in September. You can't turn up on the first day having never even set eyes on the place. I'm hoping, seeing it today will help him transition from the tiny special school he now attends. How can I get him there? I don't drive & he's too scared to go on the bus even with me beside him. I just want to do a quick in & out. His older brother already goes there and will be there tonight to support him. Any advice greatly welcomed.

ProfGrammaticus Mon 29-Feb-16 07:47:52

Use a taxi?

DoreenLethal Mon 29-Feb-16 07:57:15

Can you do it as a survey? So put a list of things he would want on one side and things he wouldn't on another, and do it like a bingo game? And yes to a taxi! Make it about him making his own mind up not about just getting him there.

Pocketsprocket Mon 29-Feb-16 07:59:50

I have experience of this. I would say that perhaps the open day is not the time to do this. I would recommend speaking to the people at the college who deal with special needs and arranging a separate visit at a calmer time. Also recommend a site I have recently come across called which talks about defense mode(American spelling) and why kids with Aspergers can't do anything sometimes. I think it would be helpful for someone with anxiety even if don't have aspergers per se. I have found most schools and colleges to be very understanding as they deal with this a lot. If they are not then that would be a problem for your child going there anyhow. Be as calm as you can and good luck.

bakeoffcake Mon 29-Feb-16 08:02:03

Yes a taxi is a good idea.

But if you can't get him there today would it be possible for his brother just to take him round on a day your Ds chooses? I know it's not the same as an open day but at least he can see the building and its layout. I'm sure the college would allow this given the circumstances.

bakeoffcake Mon 29-Feb-16 08:03:09

X posted with Pocket.

AliciaMayEmory Mon 29-Feb-16 08:06:53

I agree with pocketsprocket. See if you can arrange a visit at another time when there won't be lots of other people milling about. I'm sure under the circumstances the college would accommodate him. If you push him to go tonight it could introduce negative connotations to the college and I doubt he'll take much in if he is just wanting to run out if the place.

Good luck an I hope you can arrange something that makes this less stressful for both of you.

HeddaGarbled Mon 29-Feb-16 09:43:19

Most colleges will be happy to arrange a separate visit. Ask to speak to the disability officer/special educational needs coordinator and explain.

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