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Why am I so hurt?im a mental?

(11 Posts)
Analucy Sun 28-Feb-16 12:52:07

I was friends with a man in his early 30s,I myself am early 30s like to think I'm sensible although sometimes I have my moments.
We would text and have chats on the phone.
I have known him since school.
We would talk more and more often and our chats over time became more intense.
I developed feelings for him but I had a boyfriend and a 3 year old daughter and he had a girlfriend with 2 kids.
I told him nothing would happen whilst he was in a realtionship and whatever he did was on his shoulders.
I ended things with my boyfriend because I knew I wasn't happy.
We continued texting and I knew he was confused and didn't know what to do.
I backed off and ignored his texts and just moved on because I felt guilty and didn't want to be that person who steals people's man.
I changed my number and just blocked it out.
8 weeks later he contacts me via Facebook and says he has split and can we talk.
Stupidly I agree and he comes to my house.
We have a chat and he is "honest" we spent the whole day.
We sleep together and then boom next day he admits they haven't split and that he can't have another man bring up his kids.
Anyway I tell him to F off and that he is scum.
Now I know I shouldn't of replied to his texts and I shouldn't of allowed any of it.
I still feel really hurt and I know I have no right to feel like this.

Marchate Sun 28-Feb-16 12:59:10

You believed something he told you. It was a lie

It's natural to be upset but he's the one in the wrong

The only lesson you need to learn is, believe nothing until you have fact-checked. Even in love!

Now ignore him - forever

Buzzardbird Sun 28-Feb-16 13:00:43

Well, you're hurt because he tricked you. You won't do it again, so that's good. Move on. Maybe give yourself a little break from relationships?

I don't know what "I'm a mental" means but I think it is an ill-advised comment to make. You might want to get that changed?

Analucy Sun 28-Feb-16 13:14:25

I just feel like a fool for listening to how "confused" he was.

Buzzardbird Sun 28-Feb-16 13:22:09

You know by now that some people are full of lines to get you into bed. Try and look at it this way, you got something out of it too, cross it off and don't go back there if you wanted more than sex, and the fact he is a raging liar.

Everything is a lesson, it's fine as long as you learn by it.

Analucy Sun 28-Feb-16 13:27:11

Yeah that is true.
I think it's the fact he told me he was in love with me.
I would never tell someone I loved them just to get sex.

hesterton Sun 28-Feb-16 13:30:02

Hey you did the right things- you ended your unsatisfactory relationships withour having an affair, you refused to date him while he was still with his gf.

He's the stupid one. You're doing the right thing now ignoring the idiot.

Time to move on and forget this distasteful fellow.

CooPie10 Sun 28-Feb-16 13:33:05

Yanbu to feel upset as he has hurt you but maybe it's a lesson learnt for you. He basically clicked his fingers and you jumped into bed. He told you he just split with someone and you immediately let him Back in. Stop to think why things worked on his terms and not according to your own standards.

Analucy Sun 28-Feb-16 13:33:22

I do still have feelings for him and stupidly questioning in my head if he meant anything he said.
I know I deserve better yet here I am giving him headspace.

Analucy Sun 28-Feb-16 13:34:19

That's why I'm so Annoyed.
I allowed him to call the shots and click his fingers.
I'm so angry for being so stupid.
I've normally got more sense.

Buzzardbird Sun 28-Feb-16 13:36:17

It's extremely hurtful that he used such a line to get you into bed, that is one of the lowest lines a person can use, apart from illness.

It shows you that he is not worth your pain that you are feeling now.

You are not the first to be duped, you won't be the last. We have all made mistakes.

If he makes a move on you again just tell him that you are not interested as you only wanted sex and he was a disappointment. flowers

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