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How do I move on?

(6 Posts)
DaisyChain78 Sat 27-Feb-16 21:04:07

I am 23 and was living with a DP (we had been together for around 9 months before moved into together and living together for 6 months).

We never should have moved into together - we had different expectations and it caused constant rows. He wanted to go out with friends/stay over at theirs several nights a week etc (he was a freelance journalist) whereas I work in HR and have more stable job and was hoping when we moved in together we would have a more routine lifestyle. I never minded him going out and have my own busy life but I thought we would have lots of time together too in our new home.

Anyway, it wasn't like that and we rowed a lot. So I did something very very stupid, I went out for a drink with an old friend and we ended up sharing a kiss. It was honestly very brief and I was drunk but I know that doesn't make it ok. I told DP and we split up. The thing I am struggling with is I now hate myself. I have taken full responsibility for it, told ex-DP I know there is no excuse and that it wasn't an ok way to deal with our relationship issues. I am mostly over the break up but I am so disappointed in myself for cheating and being that way and I just can't forgive myself.

What should I do? A big part of me feels I don't deserve forgiveness from myself or anyone else and this is my punishment.

timelytess Sat 27-Feb-16 21:06:02

Get counselling.
Stop hating yourself.
You snogged someone. Is that it? So what?
Now shake it off and get on with life.

Owllady Sat 27-Feb-16 21:07:29

What she said!^

DaisyChain78 Sat 27-Feb-16 21:55:16

Ok that feels firm but v fair! One of the reasons I like to come here is that my mum passed away when I was little and I sometimes struggle to see the difference between making a mistake and being a horrible person (in myself and everyone else). Thank you for responding xx

Samaritan1 Sat 27-Feb-16 22:08:16

You are genuinely remorseful and it sounds like you have been open about it, apologised and meant it.

We all make mistakes and you have done everything possible to make amends that doesn't involve time travel. Time to stop punishing yourself.

timelytess Sat 27-Feb-16 23:02:16

Definitely get counselling. flowers

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