Ok so quick background. Was in a relationship for a year and a half with someone who I didn't realise at the time was emotionally abusive and very manipulative. He was also physically abusive on two occasions.
I fell pregnant and he moved in with his mum 250 miles away and has never met ds who is now one. He has sent me a grand total of ten pounds. He refuses to work or claim benefits to avoid contributing. He does do cash in hand work though. His family have no clue ds exists.
He didn't even wish ds a happy birthday. I do work but obviously things are tight sometimes. Anytime I have asked for money towards his son I have explained what it is for. Everytime he has made me feel guilty and unreasonable for asking.
I shouldn't be surprised but I will just never understand people abandoning their kids without a second thought. There's no point asking for money as he will just plead poverty. Sorry I'm unsure why I'm posting. Just wanted to get it off my chest as it angers and upsets me that he seems to have money for new things and going out but nothing for ds!
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Relationships
Ds's "father"
NCjustforthis90 · 27/02/2016 12:26
I know how you must be feeling. DS1's "father" abused me emotionally and mentally all throughout my pregnancy and beyond. He was really possessive, he would go through my phone (right in front of me as if it were his right to do so) and did many many horrible things to me. I moved to another city and started full time uni when DS was only 1. It took me years to recover from the abuse. The "father" is a solicitor and has paid ZERO maintenance over the last 9 years. He claims he hasn't got any money. I chased him for it once through CSA, he agreed to pay but then never paid anything. I gave up and decided I didn't need his money. I have my kid and he's just wonderful.
I guess I'm posting this to tell you that I know it's frustrating but you'll be fine. Time does make things better. And I know you must be struggling so please make sure you claim all the benefits you're entitled to. You're a hardworking mother and you deserve all the help there is!
for you
I know how you must be feeling. DS1's "father" abused me emotionally and mentally all throughout my pregnancy and beyond. He was really possessive, he would go through my phone (right in front of me as if it were his right to do so) and did many many horrible things to me. I moved to another city and started full time uni when DS was only 1. It took me years to recover from the abuse. The "father" is a solicitor and has paid ZERO maintenance over the last 9 years. He claims he hasn't got any money. I chased him for it once through CSA, he agreed to pay but then never paid anything. I gave up and decided I didn't need his money. I have my kid and he's just wonderful.
I guess I'm posting this to tell you that I know it's frustrating but you'll be fine. Time does make things better. And I know you must be struggling so please make sure you claim all the benefits you're entitled to. You're a hardworking mother and you deserve all the help there is!
for you
Your better off without him. My Dd1 dad fucked off when I was pregnant and deined she was his. I was 15 at the time. 10yrs later he reappeared for a couple of mths then fucked off again never paid any maintenance ever. When she was an adult she did have contact with him but he was never there for her when she needed him.
Sadly my dd died last year she was 23. He's supposedly meant to be devastated and can't cope he contacted me recently asking for photos of dd when she was younger I didn't reply.
Your son deserves better than him in his life he will grow up and know his mum was always there for him. Good luck
Thank you everyone, you're all so kind.
Hesjust I don't know how these "men" look at themselves! He cheated on me all the time we were together then had the nerve to question the parentage of ds!
cocochanel all the in the world for you.
Thanks for the . There is some good one's out there.
My now DH was a fantastic step-dad too my dd.
Take care.
I know, right? Pathetic! The best thing that you can do is try to move on and build a life for yourself and ds. It gets easier in time and the frustration slowly fades away.
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