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I am supposed to be meeting a guy tonight for our second date. He hasn't even told me at what time we are meeting or where yet

(165 Posts)
SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:27:52

Am I supposed to wait for him to message me or just make other plans?

This is weird.

loveyoutothemoon Fri 26-Feb-16 11:30:56

Text saying we can meet ...... (time) and....... (place), and if he doesn't reply you have your answer.

TheNaze73 Fri 26-Feb-16 11:31:35

Ask him? Not being flippant but, why are you waiting for him?

elflim Fri 26-Feb-16 11:32:07

Ask where / when he wants to meet, and offer your own suggestion too.

If you get no reply, you're probably being ghosted.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 26-Feb-16 11:34:17

Time and tide wait for no man. Make other plans.

He may have changed his mind about a second date but, in any event, if he was keen to see you he'd have you told the time and the place by now and the fact that he hasn't suggests that you'd be wasting your time on him.

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:35:24

He text me this morning to say he had been offered a job and was going in to sort out the paperwork.

Tonight is my DS's respite night. He wants to meet me near his home in Walsall as he came to see me in Birmingham last time. I need to know a time to get ready and need to battle traffic on the M6.

He has lots of ways to contact me.

I thought we were supposed to play it cool.

I have been single for eight years.

Won't I seem desparate asking him?

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:36:04

That's what my gut feign tells me god

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:36:52


Sweetandsour93 Fri 26-Feb-16 11:41:23

You could message him but I'm the same as you, I'd probably wait as I think if he suggested the second date, if he's keen he'll get in touch.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 26-Feb-16 11:41:36

Have you got some mates you could meet up with tonight? If not, #and you don't fancy checking out your local pub, I reckon a pampering night in will be of more value to you than spending time with this inconsiderate twat.

ephemeralfairy Fri 26-Feb-16 11:41:57

Really, just ask. Ain't nobody got time for games. You won't seem desperate, just practical. If he has changed his mind he should let you know out of common courtesy, as he would with anyone else. even if he makes up an excuse

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:44:05

Nobody to meet up with I could go to the cinema or swimming alone. I will spend my day cleaning and taking rubbish to the tip before that.

He suggested the second date. I feel he should contact me. I'm done with men.

susiesuesue Fri 26-Feb-16 11:48:18

If he's sorting out things for a new job he may not be in a position to contact you. He's unlikely to whip out his phone whilst with his new employers and say 'sorry i just need to arrange a date.' He may not also have worked out that you need to plan your journey (maybe inconsiderate, may just have other stuff on his mind). I'd send him a text either asking him to confirm time and place, or telling him where and when to meet and asking him to get back to you if that's no good.

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:51:23

He asked me to meet him a few days ago. We have spoken on the phone once in a week as I called him and every other say on messenger. Every other day seems his thing.

Branleuse Fri 26-Feb-16 11:54:44

text him and say is tonight still on?

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:57:36

I would as if I was begging!

outputgap Fri 26-Feb-16 11:58:41

Make another plan.

It's exceptionally bad manners on his part.

If he contacts you, then I'm afraid you have other plans as given the radio silence you assumed you had no plans together tonight.

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 11:58:54

I would feel as though I was begging him. He has had ample opportunity.

Secretlove Fri 26-Feb-16 12:00:14

I would usually ignore but as you need to know I would text and say, hey are we still on for later? What time?

Scarftown Fri 26-Feb-16 12:00:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newyear16 Fri 26-Feb-16 12:02:22

you arent begging. You need to know. Its commonsense. You have nothing to lose as he'll either tell you the arrangements, put off for another day or wont answer. How is waiting for him to contact you empowering. Take Control.

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 12:02:41

There seems to be two camps of opinion here. Text and ask and make other plans.

Both of my friends have opposite opinions too.

Maybe my standards are too high and unrealistic?

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 12:04:35

I have text him.

SoleBizzz Fri 26-Feb-16 12:04:50

Sent him a text.

goddessofsmallthings Fri 26-Feb-16 12:05:05

He's got time to text you to tell you about his job offer, but no time to let you know where to meet him?

Sounds to me like he's waiting on an ow to get back to him about a date tonight and, if she comes through, you'll get a text saying he's been invited out by his new colleagues-to-be and doesn't feel he can refuse.

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