There I said it.
I am gay. And married, to a man. I am a woman and I like other women.
I have been married for seven years, have two children and am deeply deeply unhappy.
I met my husband when I had come out of an abusive situation with both a woman and a man, who were in a relationship and using me as a toy between them. I instantly fell in love with him, and yes, was attracted to him.
But now I am not anymore and I am craving being with a woman again. Maybe I am bisexual, but regardless, I cannot stop thinking.
Does this mean the end? I don't think I want to divorce him.
Ideally I would like a girlfriend and him too. I know that is mad and could never happen, but I can dream. I just don't know what to do. I don't really have many friends and the ones I have I dint want to tell this too.
My family are very religious, so I guess when I fell for him, I rushed into marriage because it was "right". I could never openly be with a woman and be welcome at functions or even spoken to by anyone.
I don't dislike sex with him, but I shut my eyes and frequently imagine he is a woman. I don't touch his penis, ever really. And I am starting to feel weird when he tries to kiss me at all. It doesn't help that he has gained a lot of weight and really let himself go, probably because I am distant and neglecting him.
I don't want to wreck our dds lives by having them live in two different houses.
Does anyone have any tips about how I can cope living feeling this way?
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I am gay
6 replies
ilikebaking · 25/02/2016 19:20
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