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sensitive. Child abuse in children. How do I get help for my son ?(2 Posts)
Before I start please don't judge me , I've beaten myself up for nearly 4 years :
In 2012 my children were taken into foster care due to sexual behaviour between them . A lot of grey area surrounding this because I've never been able to find out exactly what happened. I lost the children to long term foster care after my ex partner took it to court straight away. The relationship was full of emotional abuse and around the time the kids went I found out my sons Dad had been arrested for abusing his then girlfriends little girl. SS nor the police had informed me of this. My Son had been seeing his Dad sporadically but SS have never even looked into the abuse being from him . They have always looked at me and my ex partner (my Daughter's bio Father) being the cause of this. They spent £10,000 on psychology reports and the children said nothing . I split with my ex partner during the court proceedings due to SS and child protection absolutely hating him. My barrister in court said she had never seen a parent hated by SS as much as him . So in court the order was agreed on the basis that the children were found a forever home together and are not moved about placements. This was Feb 2013 and October 2013 the children were found their forever home in another county which forced them to move schools. They settled well and my Son especially formed a good attachment. I was happy because my kids were happy. They started therapy and I thought life was heading the right way for me to get them home. The Social Worker was even agreeing to support me with a supervision order to get them home because by this time my ex partner was in a new rship with a woman from across the world. I was working and I was in a good place .In April 2015 I had a call from the Sw the children had been moved due to matters with the foster carers , nothing to do with the children. They stayed local to their schools. My Son , was nearly 11 and it broke his heart to leave the previous carers. He was happy and settled. So they moved to the carer my Daughter is still with now but in July 2015 I got another call , my Daughter had made sexual allegations against my son again and he had been moved back to our home town and was starting high school 3 miles away. The children were split up for the first time in their lives. They see each other with me 6 times a year , every 2 months ! The carer denies this happened. So from July to Oct he was local and then in Oct I got a call he had been moved again because he made their teenage daughter uncomfortable , hovering outside her door . This was all I was told. He was moved still local to his school in our town in with a female couple who had 2 other foster boys in the placement and I was told this couple had experience with sexual behaviour and he would be fine with them. The one woman was a police officer! A week into the New Year and my Daughters Dad's girlfriend msgs me to tell me my Ex had been chsrged for child pornography in her home country and was in prison ! So now not only is my sons dad a Paedo but now my Daughters Dad too ! Social Services were already convinced he had abused my son and now all this is coming to light . Ive only just started to come to terms with that and now today I am called again by the Sw an allegation has been made over the weekend against my son by a child in placement and he's been moved again 20 miles away! During the call I again am asking her why he isn't getting any help and she tells me it's my son's choice to do these things and no matter how much help some people get it won't stop them ! He's coming 12 in June and the amount of times he's been involved with the Police over these matters it's only a matter of time until they arrest him and I'm actually scared shitless for him . He's not a monster , he's a very confused and lonely lad who is desperate to be loved. That's all he wants . He is desperate to come home to me. Social Services know this but obviously can't whilst this is going on. He can't trust anyone coz as soon as he starts to get to know a family , he does something to mess this up . Social Services tell me as little as they possibly can and my head is upside down . I'm completely numb from emotion. This isn't my world . I wasn't bought up around sex and yet I chose 2 men who are capable of this . My Son has never told anyone what has happened to him apart from that my Daughters Dad ruined him but won't elaborate apparently.
So , where do I go to help my Son. The SW isn't really interested in helping him . She said she will go back for funding once he's settled but when will this be , who knows ? I am really scared he's gonna end up in some institute or worse prison when all he needs is someone to listen to him. I rang NSPCC today but they can't help. Ive put in a complaint against SS but where now ?I'm going to try my MP in the morning! He was taken from me to protect him and yet this is still happening ?!!
I'm sorry I meant to go put in paragraphs and forgot towards the end
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