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Secrets and loans!

(9 Posts)
IrianofWay Wed 24-Feb-16 13:37:54

My parents have agree to lend me some money to get a new car. Dad has agreed to loan me half the money. Mum had offered me half as a gift. But she wants me to keep it a secret from my father because he thinks it's unfair to my brother.

What do I do? I feel very umconfortable about this.

Marchate Wed 24-Feb-16 13:45:09

Are secrets normal in your family? Some families do, some don't

IrianofWay Wed 24-Feb-16 14:23:47

No not really. It's quite odd.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 24-Feb-16 15:34:48

Why is it unfair on your brother?
Do you earn well?
Does your brother?
My mum and dad helped out one of my sisters in a pretty big way when she was buying a house. I have no issue with it all.
They are now helping me out a bit.
It's all swings and roundabouts in the end.
As long as it's all taken into account in the Will then I don't see an issue.
What will you tell your brother when he asks how you afforded it?

tribpot Wed 24-Feb-16 15:46:05

Are your parents still together? If so, this is bizarre behaviour. I would not accept the money from your mum on condition of keeping it secret from your dad.

PushingThru Wed 24-Feb-16 18:22:04

I wouldn't like this. Could you perhaps borrow the remainder from your mum & bring things into the open that way?

iyamehooru Wed 24-Feb-16 19:10:42

Don't accept your mums offer on those terms. One day it'll just be you and your brother. I'd say you'll accept only if it's not a secret. My parents have helped both me and my bro out, whilst sums of money are never discussed with the other sibling we are both aware we've been helped when necessary. Gifts have always been equal, loans possibly not.

Optimist1 Wed 24-Feb-16 19:56:11

Don't accept your mother's offer - if you do you have to watch what you say in conversation with your father and your brother. Not comfortable, not fair. You should be able to tell your mother that a loan would suit you better than getting involved in subterfuge.

IrianofWay Wed 24-Feb-16 21:51:12

Thanks. I told mum that I was grateful but I couldn't accept it. She understood I think but seemed a little hurt which makes me feel like shit sad.

In the past they have helped us both out as far as I am aware nothing has been given to either of us that wasn't balanced out on other occasions.

Mum's attitude was that whatever she had would go to us when she died and anything given in advance would be taken into account at that time.

Ah well.....

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