Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

AIBU to cut this friend off completely?

(15 Posts)
MagicEightBallz Wed 24-Feb-16 11:14:47

Just wanted some feedback on my situation with a friend if possible.

We have been friends for quite a few years, I'd have said very close friends but he has always been a bit up and down. She tends to latch onto new people and disappear for a bit then come back. She has always been quite defensive too and is known for being best friends with people then falling out and "cutting them off" and she's always been the type to not talk about whatever is on her mind.

So I have always been quite chilled, if she needs me I am here, always been good friends and I have never minded when she's gone off to do her own thing. She was a great support for me when I wen through something tragic a few years ago.

Six months ago she got annoyed at me over something that I felt was very minor (me hnging out with someone on her cut off list) and since then she has not spoken to me. At least I think this is what the problem is, but don't know for sure as she has refused to speak to me. She ignores text messages completely, doesn't answer the phone.

It's been going on six months now and I have tried everything to speak to her...and just feel very pissed off myself now. I didn't do anything, or if i did it was very minor and I am sick and tired of her bloody moods and walking on eggshells with her.

So I thought I would just completely delete her off everything and block her. I don't really want someone who is so hostile towards me on my facebook or whatever and feel like if she was a proper friend she would not behave like this.

Oh yes, she is 44, not 15.

Joysmum Wed 24-Feb-16 11:19:41

If somebody drains more than than bring to your life then cut them off.

She's trying to manipulate you and your friendships with others. Why would you want that in your life?

TheNaze73 Wed 24-Feb-16 11:35:39

Joysmum well said. She sounds so negative and energy sapping. Just walk away

MatildaTheCat Wed 24-Feb-16 12:13:52

She has form for cutting people out of her life.

So it's just what she does and not a very attractive quality. I guess most of us have known, and been dropped, by this type.

Certainly delete her. She's no longer your friend, sadly. It is very odd how someone can be so nice for a while and then turn but it is an absolute modus operandi for some.

FaithAscending Wed 24-Feb-16 12:33:15

Life is too short to try and maintain a relationship with someone like this. It's done, she's 'cut you off'. Honestly? She's not worth your bother. Delete her number, move on with life!

suspiciousofgoldfish Wed 24-Feb-16 13:39:47

I'm glad you specified her age - I was beginning to wonder. Yes to all PPs - you are not really getting anything out of this friendship are you. She sounds tiresome. Get rid.

DoreenLethal Wed 24-Feb-16 13:56:38

What has it got to do with her if you see someone from her 'cut off list'.

Get shot - she is a fun sucker.

MagicEightBallz Wed 24-Feb-16 15:34:47

Well to be honest I think it had absolutely fuck all to do with her who I do or don't see. We're not 12 in a playground and I have always been a good friend to her.

I feel too old to tolerate this bull shit in my life

Joysmum Wed 24-Feb-16 15:51:38

I feel too old to tolerate this bull shit in my life

With age comes wisdom wink

MagicEightBallz Wed 24-Feb-16 15:51:48

What's really bothring me is that I have no idea what I did. I think it's hanging out with that woman, but honestly can't say for sure because she wouldn't talk to me. Maybe I did something worse and don't know it?

But isn't the point, that if she was my friend, and I have done something she should tell me?

MoominPie22 Wed 24-Feb-16 16:21:58

It's pathetic isn't it? She probably feels like she's teaching u a lesson or somethin! What an idiot. I too wouldn't tolerate it. I wouldn't even worry wot my supposed misdemeanor was. Cos unless you've shagged her partner notuch could warrent her ridiculously childish behaviour!
Emotionally mature people who are firing on all cylinders don't go on like this. It just shows, she obv never really considered u a good friend in the first place or the relationship would not b worth the sacrifice. She sounds like a fruit loop who can't handle people effectively. She's cut u off, return the favour.

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer Wed 24-Feb-16 16:43:08

You've got different ideas of friendship.

Also of communication.

Your biggest problem is that you were born without the ability to read her mind.

velvety55 Wed 24-Feb-16 17:15:00

Don't contact her again and delete her contact details - you have a right to see who you like and to have your own opinions without having to suffer the silent treatment (passive aggression)

MagicEightBallz Wed 24-Feb-16 18:11:06

Deleted! and it felt good!

So fucking sick of her silent treatment bull shit (which she has done before plenty of times)

The woman needs therapy

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer Wed 24-Feb-16 18:26:14

People who have a pattern of dropping friends for some imagined slight usually do ... I wasn't joking about your main flaw was that you can't read her mind - that's what she almost certainly expects. It sounds like she operates by a system of unspoken rules and that if you don't conform to -her- rules then you're out (which was probably a one-way street, too).

She might have had a really nice personality but her underlying character was something different, from what you say.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now