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Drunk angry dh

(44 Posts)
Lost27 Wed 24-Feb-16 00:23:25

I don't know what to do. Dh has just woken me up screaming and shouting. He has drunk 2 bottles of wine and broken the bedroom door. He is saying horrible stuff about my mum and killing himself in the car. I asked him bot to shout as he would wake the kids and he said he didn't give a shit. He has just been driving the car and got back. We argued downstairs and I said I am not accepting this behaviour. I feel like I need to get the kids away from him. Should I wake them and drive them to my mums? Or will he shout and it affect them for ever? What if he comes back upstairs?

Do I forgive this behaviour as it is not him. What I mean is he is usually very loving and sweet but does occasionally get cross and lose it wheb drunk. He had a bad day at work and I wen t to bed early so our relationship is suffering as we have a newborn he feels isolated from us. I don't know what to do.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 24-Feb-16 00:30:44

Has he calmed down now?

It is worrying that this is insist behaviour for him when drinking. Two bottles of wine is a lot for one person but no excuse for behaving badly routinely.

If you feel you need to go to your mums, wake the children and go. It's unlikely they will remember (especially the newborn!) and really you can only do what is best for you right now, in this moment.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 24-Feb-16 00:31:25

*isn't unusual not is insist

Justmuddlingalong Wed 24-Feb-16 00:31:53

Get in the car and go to your Mum's. Don't stay in the house. Think about the future when you're in a safe place.

Hastagwhatever Wed 24-Feb-16 00:42:34

Are you okay op?.

Call the police so they can remove him from the property.

VoldysGoneMouldy Wed 24-Feb-16 00:46:54

Call the police if you haven't already. If he's already damaging property you're not safe.

honeyroar Wed 24-Feb-16 00:47:01

Are you ok? I agree, call the police or get the kids out. Trust your instincts, don't wait for it to escalate.

Waypasttethersend Wed 24-Feb-16 01:00:14

You aren't safe, go to your mums if you can leave without him seeing, if not then hole up with the kids and call 999.

Sounds dramatic but think of the damage a temper could do to a newborn in a split second. Get safe work out everything else later.
DONT argue with him no point tonight he's not rational.

houseeveryweekend Wed 24-Feb-16 01:24:48

I think you should take the children to your mums. Drunk people can be unpredictable you don't want him frightening the kids. He may shout while you are leaving but that is probably better than spending the whole night frightened of what he might do and what the kids might see.
Plus he needs to realise that this is not appropriate and when he wakes in the morning and you and the kids are not there then he will realise that. I know from experience that drunk people don't remember what happened and try and convince you and themselves that whatever they did wasn't that bad.
If he is being violent in any way or making you think he may well be violent if you tried to leave then you need to ring the police straight away don't take any chances. And agree with previous poster, don't try and argue with him or talk about his behaviour now it may escalate things and isn't safe. Just get out of there.

houseeveryweekend Wed 24-Feb-16 01:28:27

Weather you forgive him or not and why hes doing it and what you can do etc are not things to think about right now just make sure that you and your children are safe from him and deal with these things when he is sober.
If he is threatening to kill himself and you are worried he will hurt himself you should ring an ambulance on him but do not be manipulated into staying around him. The ambulance will take care of him if he needs it.

Theneedygonzales Wed 24-Feb-16 01:48:27

Just read this and feel very concerned OP sad please do call the police.

Joysmum Wed 24-Feb-16 07:22:24

Hope you're ok this morning?

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Wed 24-Feb-16 07:26:54

I hope you're all safe. Don't ever excuse drunk behaviour as 'not him' - yes it is him very much so. He sounds dangerous.

slebmum1 Wed 24-Feb-16 07:35:10

Did he drove the car after drinking two bottles of wine?

He should be supporting you with a newborn not getting pissed because he feels detached ffs. Can you go and stay at your mums for a few days?

Don't excuse his behaviour.

Hope you are ok this morning.

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 24-Feb-16 07:42:40

Since he knows he can be like this when he drinks, and he still chooses to drink, then he is choosing to behave like this.

It's not ok and yes you should leave home, at least for a while, so he can have a think about his choices in life.

2ManySweets Wed 24-Feb-16 07:48:49

The combination of "he's broken the bedroom door" + drunk abusive behaviour + anger + a newborn means that if I were your neighbour and heard that commotion going on id be dialling 999.

It takes just one thing thrown in anger, a splinter from a pinched door, a broken glass shard hidden in the carpet, a piece of furniture kicked in anger for your child to be harmed. Whilst we all have hazards in the home ones caused by a disgusting drunk angry arsehole on the rampage are 100% born of the selfish behaviour of an individual who has it seems no care for the welfare of his missis or little children.

I'd go to your mum's and bloody stay there whilst considering your options.

BathtimeFunkster Wed 24-Feb-16 07:54:54

He drove the car in that state? shock

Marchate Wed 24-Feb-16 08:21:52

He's dangerous

Joysmum Wed 24-Feb-16 08:31:21

Yes he's dangerous, not just to you, him and your baby, but to everyone else.

There's no way I'd ever drink a drop if I knew I'd done that.

Lost27 Wed 24-Feb-16 09:30:05

Hi Thabks for all the support. He fell asleep downstairs after drinking some tequila he got from his work at Christmas. So I did go to sleep eventually. This morning he was just as cross swearing etc and I was so worried our eldest would wake and hear him. My mum is coming over today but I really don't know what to do next.

Lost27 Wed 24-Feb-16 09:32:50

I feel so cross with him. I totally agree he chooses to drink this much when he is in a bad mood. And I really don't think it's unreasonable for me to go to bed at 9 when I had very little sleep night before with newborn. I know he feels isolated but I don't stop him seeing friends or going out... or even go to bed early too so he is not so tired and grumpy all the time.

Allnamesaretakenffs Wed 24-Feb-16 09:34:42

What advice would you give your daughter/sons were it their partner doing this to them infront of your grandchildren? Would you tell them to just put up with it, because their partner was otherwise usually so nice?

Lost27 Wed 24-Feb-16 09:37:10

Oh and ni he did not say sorry in fact he swore and said he was not all sorry for his behaviour last night. He says no one is ever there for him and he has nothing. I can't reason with him. This all stemmed from him having an argument with someone at work. It's not an acceptable reaction. But easier said than done to just walk away. I know it would really upset my eldest and then there is issue of money etc as on maternity leave and money doesn't even cover the mortgage. I will talk to my mum today have never told her how bad the situation is.

Buzzardbird Wed 24-Feb-16 09:38:51

I'm sorry Lost but I would be telling him to find somewhere else to stay for a few days, if he argues I would call Police to back me up.
You have a newborn and he gets in this state?

If you let this go he will do it more and more often.

Buzzardbird Wed 24-Feb-16 09:40:20

He is probably still drunk this morning Lost, that amount of booze can't be out of his system yet.

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