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pass by friend's boyfriend what to do?

40 replies

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2016 20:31

About a week ago I fell out/ended a friendship with a friend, it was a mixture of insensitive remarks from me and catty retaliation from her and maybe just generally we don't get on. I'm not sure how to proceed re extending an olive branch or not right now I think she wants to be friends at some point though.

There is another twist though, her on and off boyfriend for 7 years (they're forever breaking up and making up and now have apparently broken up for good!) made a pass at me when we were all out at a bar on NYE last year. I'd gone to get a bottle of cava, he came after I'd gone up to the bar to supposedly order more drinks and stood next to me at the bar but next thing I know I felt a hand squeeze my bum and I looked up and he turned to look at me and smirked at me. Couldn't have been anyone else do this to me and he was standing next to me and slightly behind me as bar was crowded. to be honest I had no idea what to say at the time or during the evening about the incident, I was toying with the idea of saying something then and there or later but I froze at the time (didn't want to cause a scene) and also thought what would I say and at the time I was also shocked I just looked away and avoided him for rest of the night.

I am currently single but on the whole happily so, in fact I was being set up with a friend of the boyfriend on NYE but he wasn't my type (we had met before) and in fact on NYE I was just having fun and not bothering about men, I'd also been seeing a man on and off myself since summer last year but not really serious for either of us and it ended end of January this year for good.

Thing is last time I saw her (Shrove Tuesday) she told me not long after they'd first met he went off with another woman saw the other woman for a few months and then got back with my friend - this was a long time before I knew either of them. He has been usually fine when we are all out but I know what happened on NYE. He is usually friendly but can verge on flirty. He often laughs/makes fun of his on/off GF (yes he's a charmer not). Our other friends say he's only there for the "good times" as he's never wanted them to move in together or have children (which she wanted) etc and one even said he's using her for sex. There is other stuff but not relevant to post here just he treats her badly.

Anyway I'm not sure our friendship would recover but what would you do, tell about the "pass" on NYE or leave it. It is really playing on my mind that if it ever came up that I didn't tell she'd be angry I didn't tell or let her know, but I don't know if she'd want to know anyway. I have another mutual friend who's a very close friend of the sort of ex friend who could maybe tell her rather than me telling her.

Thanks in advance.

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SoThatHappened · 23/02/2016 20:48

So he made a pass at you nearly two months ago.

You didnt tell your friend then.

But now you've fallen out only a week ago, you want to tell her?

Sounds like you want to dig the knife in now you've fallen out more than anything else to get back at her.

leave it.