Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

what the hell do I say to that!!

(160 Posts)
fireflys Tue 23-Feb-16 16:35:06

My husband says (during an argument) that we aren't really married because we didn't consummate our marriage by having sex!! Therefore if he divorces me the judge will do it straight away without even talking to me or considering my side of things because he will tell the judge we didn't have sex that night!! Apparently we are not legally married??

IamlovedbyG Tue 23-Feb-16 16:37:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 23-Feb-16 16:37:57

He's being ridiculous. I assume you've done it since?

Gatekeeper Tue 23-Feb-16 16:39:15

Jesus; that means me as and dh were so sloshed we didn't get round to it until two days later blush

DoreenLethal Tue 23-Feb-16 16:39:40

And the moon is made of cheese.

Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 23-Feb-16 16:41:59

Are you in the UK?

fireflys Tue 23-Feb-16 16:42:23

We haven't had sex since getting married because our baby was born the day after and I'm still sore now due to 80 stitches. Been married 2 months. I googled it for a giggle to shut him up but it actually says this bull crap on there?

fireflys Tue 23-Feb-16 16:42:52

Yes uk

paxillin Tue 23-Feb-16 16:43:52

I think a marriage is voidable if there was no sex, but not sure what happens if you had sex before as you clearly have.

tabulahrasa Tue 23-Feb-16 16:43:58

Well non-consummation is a thing, though I've no clue what it means as far as legal marriage status nowadays.

But it's having sex at all after marriage, not the night of the wedding...

BloodyPlantagenets Tue 23-Feb-16 16:45:56

I think, technically speaking, as you haven't had sex since the wedding it could be annulled. But he's a twat for saying it.

LoveBoursin Tue 23-Feb-16 16:46:37

Hmm surely it has to take into account situations like this. I mean it's not as if you didn't want or refuse to have sex with him.

I'm more curious as why he made such a comment tbh...,

Scoopmuckdizzy Tue 23-Feb-16 16:46:40

How would it be proven though?

Jackie0 Tue 23-Feb-16 16:48:17

I'd tell him to go for it

AliceInUnderpants Tue 23-Feb-16 16:48:28

Yep a marriage can be annulled if it hadsn't been consummated. I've no idea how to annulment process goes though.

fireflys Tue 23-Feb-16 16:48:51

He's turned into a bastard since we got married!! He can have his divorce.. What the hell was I thinking!! Having a pop at me because I couldn't have sex with him!! I weigh 8 stone and had a 10lb baby, I was ripped to shreds.. God I feel miserable!!

AliceInUnderpants Tue 23-Feb-16 16:49:08

I'd go for it, he seems like a douche. Saves you divorce costs down the line.

tabulahrasa Tue 23-Feb-16 16:49:17

To be honest I'd be more bothered about him saying that than how much chance there would be of an anullment...

firesidechat Tue 23-Feb-16 16:51:51

Someone I know had their mattiage annulled for this reason. It's a lot more complicated than your husband appears to think.

LoveBoursin Tue 23-Feb-16 16:52:02

Wow ....
Are you ok fire?

So he is throwing his toys out of the oram because he hasn't had sex fur two months? And this because you have had a really hard time giving birth, to give birth to HIS baby sadsad

Yep he does sound like he has eco a a real twat v

fuzzywuzzy Tue 23-Feb-16 16:52:11

You can get an annulment however it's like a regular divorce and he'll need to give evidence to the judge under cross examination...

It won't be easy or free.

And I'm sure there's more to the law if you have consummated the relationship just not in the marriage period.

Let him apply for his annulment will save you a lot of abuse and heartache by the sounds of things.

tingon Tue 23-Feb-16 16:52:40

Well he may be correct, which would be incredibly lucky for you.

Marchate Tue 23-Feb-16 16:53:30

Take your chance and say Yes please!

BastardGoDarkly Tue 23-Feb-16 16:54:31

Awww bless your heart. What a twat!!

Abed Tue 23-Feb-16 16:55:08

He's correct, ditch him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now