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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 10 11

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Relationships

AIBU to be on the brink of cracking up

275 replies

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:16

My partner has issues, which, as you may have read, has been causing problems in our family life.
One of them is buying random drugs on the internet. A rattly package arrived today, so after he got home, opened it and went to have a bath, I checked his bag, (I've had to go to his GP before about stuff he was taking). I found the pills, but also noticed a small metal tin next to them. Inside it was a neatly folded tissue - and he never neatly folds anything. I carefully unfolded it and inside were 3 pubic hairs.
I am sitting here shaking and my palms are sweating. I think it is my flight response kicking in. I just want to run out of here in my pyjamas and never stop running.

OP posts:

Report

MyKingdomForBrie · 22/02/2016 21:19

Oh god.. What is that, a souvenir?? I can only agree re getting out of there.. Can you go and stay with a friend/parents while you sort your head out?

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:21

I can't go. My son is asleep upstairs and the closest relative is 2 hours away.
I can't stop shaking and crying. It's even worse than you could imagine. I think I know whose they must be and it is just too hideous to even think about.
Do I ask him whose they are to confirm my worst fears?

OP posts:

gleekster · 22/02/2016 21:23

shrubbery I have seen your previous posts and you have been given very good advice which was, in short, that you have to get legal advice if you wish to separate and do not wish to leave your home.

It sounds as though you are so traumatised with everything you are almost paralysed into inaction. Are you just sitting there waiting for things to get worse?

Nothing is going to get better unless you either get out of there and seek legal advice, or stay and seek legal advice.

How bad do things have to get before you do something?

QuiteLikely5 · 22/02/2016 21:23

I don't really understand why he had the hairs? Why are you so afraid?

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:26

Is there anything I can do to just get him out of here right now?
I really need him to go now. This minute.

OP posts:

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:26

I think they belong to the teenage boy next door.

OP posts:

RubyRoseViolet · 22/02/2016 21:27

It sounds horrible. Not sure why someone would do that but ugh. Not nice. Sorry you're so upset.

RubyRoseViolet · 22/02/2016 21:27

What????

Natkingcole9 · 22/02/2016 21:28

What the fuck???? Why do you think that OP?

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:29

I've tried calling my dad to ask him to come here, but I can't get hold of him.

OP posts:

gunting · 22/02/2016 21:29

Why would someone keep pubes in a tissue? Surely there could be an innocent explanation to this?

AdrenalineFudge · 22/02/2016 21:29

Why would you think that?

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 22/02/2016 21:29

Are you sure you're not mistaken? Clearly there's a story here that I'm not aware of, but a tin of pubes

RubyRoseViolet · 22/02/2016 21:30

That now sounds very disturbing indeed. Are you able to confront him?

QuiteLikely5 · 22/02/2016 21:30

This sounds very unpleasant.

Can you ask him?

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 22/02/2016 21:30

Hideous xpost, sorry.

Op, do you have a mum?

BrieAndChilli · 22/02/2016 21:32

How teenage? 19 or 14? If they are under the age of consent I would rig the police Asap or speak to the teenagers parents now.

sunnydayinmay · 22/02/2016 21:33

Why the boy next door?

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:33

I'm going to ask him when he comes downstairs.
Brieandchilli - depending on what he says, I will do that.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 22/02/2016 21:33

OP, I'm going to ask MNHQ to move this to Relationships. It doesn't belong in AIBU. Hope that's okay.

thecatfromjapan · 22/02/2016 21:34

You need out of this situation. You're so far beyond a normal, happy psychological state that you are traumatised into inaction. That is completely wrong.

In the immediate present, for you to be thinking this, you must have been picking up on some extremely weird behaviour on your husband, s part: again, you need out of this.

If he is stalking/involved with the teenager next door, that is a matter for the police.

He does not sound safe for you or your child.

shrubbery · 22/02/2016 21:34

Of course, I didn't know where to post it

OP posts:

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ImperialBlether · 22/02/2016 21:35

What makes you think they belong to the boy next door? And do you think he gave them willingly?

You poor thing. I wouldn't confront your partner just yet, though.

thecatfromjapan · 22/02/2016 21:36

Why ask him? You don't trust him. I suspect you will ask him so that he can lie to you and you can take the denial route. The fact that you Re having an extreme reaction says that you need out of this relationship - with some urgency.

ImperialBlether · 22/02/2016 21:41

I wouldn't ask him what was on the telly tonight, never mind question him about this.

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