Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

AIBU to be on the brink of cracking up

(276 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:16:15

My partner has issues, which, as you may have read, has been causing problems in our family life.
One of them is buying random drugs on the internet. A rattly package arrived today, so after he got home, opened it and went to have a bath, I checked his bag, (I've had to go to his GP before about stuff he was taking). I found the pills, but also noticed a small metal tin next to them. Inside it was a neatly folded tissue - and he never neatly folds anything. I carefully unfolded it and inside were 3 pubic hairs.
I am sitting here shaking and my palms are sweating. I think it is my flight response kicking in. I just want to run out of here in my pyjamas and never stop running.

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 22-Feb-16 21:19:21

Oh god.. What is that, a souvenir?? I can only agree re getting out of there.. Can you go and stay with a friend/parents while you sort your head out?

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:21:49

I can't go. My son is asleep upstairs and the closest relative is 2 hours away.
I can't stop shaking and crying. It's even worse than you could imagine. I think I know whose they must be and it is just too hideous to even think about.
Do I ask him whose they are to confirm my worst fears?

gleekster Mon 22-Feb-16 21:23:04

shrubbery I have seen your previous posts and you have been given very good advice which was, in short, that you have to get legal advice if you wish to separate and do not wish to leave your home.

It sounds as though you are so traumatised with everything you are almost paralysed into inaction. Are you just sitting there waiting for things to get worse?

Nothing is going to get better unless you either get out of there and seek legal advice, or stay and seek legal advice.

How bad do things have to get before you do something?

QuiteLikely5 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:23:31

I don't really understand why he had the hairs? Why are you so afraid?

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:26:10

Is there anything I can do to just get him out of here right now?
I really need him to go now. This minute.

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:26:52

I think they belong to the teenage boy next door.

RubyRoseViolet Mon 22-Feb-16 21:27:34

It sounds horrible. Not sure why someone would do that but ugh. Not nice. Sorry you're so upset.

RubyRoseViolet Mon 22-Feb-16 21:27:50


Natkingcole9 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:28:08

What the fuck???? Why do you think that OP?

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:29:23

I've tried calling my dad to ask him to come here, but I can't get hold of him.

gunting Mon 22-Feb-16 21:29:23

Why would someone keep pubes in a tissue? Surely there could be an innocent explanation to this?

AdrenalineFudge Mon 22-Feb-16 21:29:37

Why would you think that?

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom Mon 22-Feb-16 21:29:50

Are you sure you're not mistaken? Clearly there's a story here that I'm not aware of, but a tin of pubes confused

RubyRoseViolet Mon 22-Feb-16 21:30:34

That now sounds very disturbing indeed. Are you able to confront him?

QuiteLikely5 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:30:43

This sounds very unpleasant.

Can you ask him?

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom Mon 22-Feb-16 21:30:47

Hideous xpost, sorry.

Op, do you have a mum?

BrieAndChilli Mon 22-Feb-16 21:32:16

How teenage? 19 or 14? If they are under the age of consent I would rig the police Asap or speak to the teenagers parents now.

sunnydayinmay Mon 22-Feb-16 21:33:04

Why the boy next door?

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:33:16

I'm going to ask him when he comes downstairs.
Brieandchilli - depending on what he says, I will do that.

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Feb-16 21:33:37

OP, I'm going to ask MNHQ to move this to Relationships. It doesn't belong in AIBU. Hope that's okay.

thecatfromjapan Mon 22-Feb-16 21:34:21

You need out of this situation. You're so far beyond a normal, happy psychological state that you are traumatised into inaction. That is completely wrong.

In the immediate present, for you to be thinking this, you must have been picking up on some extremely weird behaviour on your husband, s part: again, you need out of this.

If he is stalking/involved with the teenager next door, that is a matter for the police.

He does not sound safe for you or your child.

shrubbery Mon 22-Feb-16 21:34:33

Of course, I didn't know where to post it

ImperialBlether Mon 22-Feb-16 21:35:41

What makes you think they belong to the boy next door? And do you think he gave them willingly?

You poor thing. I wouldn't confront your partner just yet, though.

thecatfromjapan Mon 22-Feb-16 21:36:52

Why ask him? You don't trust him. I suspect you will ask him so that he can lie to you and you can take the denial route. The fact that you Re having an extreme reaction says that you need out of this relationship - with some urgency.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now