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(4 Posts)
Havanna Mon 22-Feb-16 18:19:49


Actually I think through writing this I’ve answered my own question, and Yes, I am! However, if you can bear to read through my outpourings, I’d love some opinions/advice.

My husband of 24 years suddenly walked out on me three weeks ago. Looking back, there probably were warning signs, but I really did believe we were working through some issues and reaching a point of being stronger than ever. Turns out he is “in love” with a woman at work, and has been seeing her since mid-December, but I think she brought things to a head, rather than being the “reason” for him leaving. These last few weeks have been like a badly designed roller coaster ride… far more downs than ups!

My issue is that I decided I need a break from the responsibilities he has left me with – large dog and a 17yr old daughter going through final stages of IB studies and possible split from her boyfriend – to take some time to think about what I need and to lick my wounds. I plan to do this over Easter and he has agreed to be around for DD and DS (who will be home from Uni). He’s e-mailed me to say he’ll be around and will invite his dad and step-mum round for Easter Sunday lunch, but he’ll be a day later that arranged because he’s going away with his ‘girlfriend’ the week before. I have real problem with him living in the family home for the week and having a big family lunch, using all the store-cupboard ingredients I have bought (I really do know that bit sounds petty!), and carrying on as though everything is normal… BUT WITHOUT ME!!
I understand he wants to keep things ‘normal’ for the children, and I realise I was the one who asked him to be there for them. What do you think, AIBU??

Jan45 Mon 22-Feb-16 18:22:25

No you are not, he's bloody lucky you give him the time of day after what he did. Why does he have to stay at yours, it's totally not on.

luckiestgirlintheworld Mon 22-Feb-16 18:28:48

I don't think you are unreasonable, but it might be nice for DS and DD to have lunch at home with their dad.
Is the problem that you are feeling left out? You could come back for Easter lunch?

AcrossthePond55 Mon 22-Feb-16 18:36:02

I totally understand your feelings. But remember that you're doing this for your children, not for him. He's just 'there', iyswim.

If you feel better tell him to get in his own food for the Easter meal. Or just see that the supplies are low so he'll have to do a shop early on.

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