Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Non molestation orders

(20 Posts)
AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 18:09:13

Has anyone used one?
Are they effective or more hassle than they are worth.

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 20:10:34

No one?

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:20:35

I've rang NSPCC for advice but it rang out, so I've emailed instead but there's a 3 day wait on replies

goddessofsmallthings Mon 22-Feb-16 21:29:26

Why have you rung the NSPCC? Are you looking for advice as to whether to apply for a non-mol to protect you and/or dc? If so, has there been any recorded (by the police) incident of violence, actual or attempted, against you?

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:46:44

No none.

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:47:23

Sorry yes advice to protect DC, no nothing reported to the police.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 22-Feb-16 21:52:19

Are you wishing to proctect the dc from one of their parents. If so, what cause do you have to do so and are you also seeking to protect yourself?

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:55:21

Yes I am. DC say they are being verbally abused and feel physically threatened. I am concerned that with parental responsibility the DC can be collected from school at any point and I want to prevent that.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge Mon 22-Feb-16 21:56:11

Mine was effective, but ex never 'broke' it. Don't know what happens when they do.

You will need serious evidence to get one though. Police reports, ss reports, GP reports, for instance. I got mine after a month of harassment. You can't get one on a whim.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge Mon 22-Feb-16 21:59:46

How old are DC and would they independently tell the safeguarding officer at their school about their experiences at their dad's?

You can inform the school about this. Mine agreed to 'delay' getting the children from class so they could phone me. They are legally obliged to release them, but there are tactics they can use if they consider the children at risk.

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 22:02:04

Ah ok it doesn't sound like I have enough evidence then. I just need something interim to keep them safe until the courts and CAFcas can review.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 22-Feb-16 22:06:22

How old are the dc and do they have regular contact with their other parent?

As Edge has said, non-mols are rarely granted without compelling evidence and you may be best advised to apply for a prohibited steps order to prevent the other parent removing/collecting the dc from school without your consent.

If you're the mother of the dc I suggest you make contact with your nearest Women's Aid branch via the national website to talk through your concerns and seek recommendations for solicitors who are well versed in family law and domestic abuse.

www.womensaid.org.uk

Twinklestein Mon 22-Feb-16 22:06:49

You need to report the threats to the police, school, ss.

Potentially you could get an free emergency non-mol within 24 hours through www.ncdv.co.uk if you report recent threats.

Twinklestein Mon 22-Feb-16 22:07:49

A prohibitive steps order as well.

NotQuiteSoOnEdge Mon 22-Feb-16 22:10:15

If you are going back to court and you have real, grounded concerns about the safety of the children, then you will not get in trouble for stopping contact. Ss will always look to you to protect the children. As long as you are clear in your mind what the risks are for the children, and can explain them satisfactorily to a judge, I don't think you'll get into trouble.

It might be best to consult your solicitor now.

UmbongoUnchained Mon 22-Feb-16 22:20:31

Can a father really just come and take their child from school? What about if they haven't had any contact for years?

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 22:22:12

Thankyou. It's hard as its more a feeling the DC has. The shouting and swearing won't meet SS threshold, neither will the feeling of being scared. So feel stuck really.

goddessofsmallthings Mon 22-Feb-16 22:33:09

How old are the dc and do they have regular contact with their other parent? Am in right in assuming this parent is their father?

Wihout knowing considerably more of the history it isn't possible for anyone here to properly advise you.

AtSea1979 Mon 22-Feb-16 22:40:21

10 and yes regular contact

jayho Mon 22-Feb-16 22:46:01

i've pm'd you

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now