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Should I take the plunge

(14 Posts)
Thesmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 13:28:02

So me and partner have been together just 14months.

I have two children, who get on really well with him and vice versa. It all flows very easy, I am v confident about this relationship and can see marrage at the end of it.

We have talked about moving in together, and with the children. They are v keen on it to.

I live in one town a d he lives in a town 20 mins away. The idea was he was to move to my town and the we would move in slowly. ( it's not possible for him to move into mine)

But I'm considering moving in with him in his house as it is the perfect house for us all. (3 bedrooms rooms plenty off space) The town is busier and has more job oppertunities (I am self employed cleaner that is doing badly so this is a major plus)
My eldest will be moving into secondary school in the next year and half and the only school in my town for him is terrible. It's rated 4 by off stead and has done for the past 7 years. But the schools dp town are brilliant.

The town he is In also has a lot to offer the children in things to do, out town has zero things for children.

I really want to take the plunge but I feel like I'd be crazy to. What are your thoughts on it? I can't afford to move to he's town on our own. So it'd have to be in with him.

We've spent weeks together doing the normal boring day to day stuff and I love it, my children also enjoy it, and I really want it to be a every day thing.

Wish there was a magic eight ball to help me decided.

bluebell34567 Sun 21-Feb-16 13:34:17

I would wait for him to offer it.

Thesmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 13:37:34

Sorry I forgot to mention that he has offered us to move In with him, and he would actually much prefer to stay in he's town, it was me who originally wanted to stay in my town and he agreed to move.

But the more I think about it the more sence it makes for us to move to he's town. It would benifit us all in a lot if ways.
I guess after 7 years of being single it's quite a scary move, even though it's something I want.

ImperialBlether Sun 21-Feb-16 13:40:56

Does he have children?

ImperialBlether Sun 21-Feb-16 13:44:27

Do you own your own home or is it rented? One thing I think is important is to have an exit strategy, particularly when you have children. I would do my best to make sure that I had the deposit needed for a new home and a month's rent in advance etc in a separate account just in case.

Think of worst case scenarios. If something went wrong, what do you think it would be? For instance it might be a struggle for him, being used to a quiet home when you're not there, to have people there all the time. How will he feel if your children have friends over? If the grass in the garden gets damaged by football? What's your partner like if he's unhappy about something? Does he sulk, talk it over or what?

Thesmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 13:45:29

He does, but mother and child live in a different country but he see he's child as often as he can, sends child support along side other buts if it's needed.

Thesmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 13:52:51

Imperial- I had already thought of this. That I'd have a saving pot saved if anything dis go wrong, I felt quite bad for thinking this but like you say I need to have a plan if all fails.

Um he is v laid back, if something g is bothering g ethier of us we talk it out, no raised voices or sulking or passive agreaves silence. Obviously there's going to be an adjustment getting used to having noise there all the time and he knows this but I don't think it'd be a big problem, he works swings so he gets home about 2-3 am shifts so he just brought some ear plugs to put in so he can sleep in the morning before kids got to school, so he's open to finding easy solutions with out a fuss.

ImperialBlether Sun 21-Feb-16 13:57:35

He sounds really nice. Don't feel bad for having money to escape with. That benefits him in the end as he'll be left with his house if you and he don't get on.

Does he own his house? If so, what will you do about contributing? There are often threads on MN about this.

Duckdeamon Sun 21-Feb-16 14:04:18

Is his place actually in catchment for the good secondary school?

Agree with PP that you need a back-up plan should it not work out, which once DS is in a good high school would probably mean remaining in your bf's town.

Thesmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 14:07:11

He rents, but his work pay for rent, so we've discussed that we would just go half's with the bills. Though he earns more then me, he's never been one to hold it over me or expect to pay for more then I can afford if that makes sence, so he does end up paying for more of the fun stuff we do together and as family though I do contribute to.

He is really nice, it's just so easy with him we all mix well together. Which is why I can't wait to move in together. I think i just need to just take that chance knowing ill have an exit plan if the worst happens.

There's a lot if good secondary scoops and he's in catchment for two of them, I also wouldn't mind staying in the town if we did split as iv never wanted my children to go to the school in my town so a move would have happened even if we wernt together.

bluebell34567 Mon 22-Feb-16 07:27:09

It looks like you thought it very through.
In every aspect it looks very good to move in with him.
Wish you all happiness there.flowers

Secretlove Mon 22-Feb-16 07:36:53

Sometimes the dynamic changes when you move into someone else's home. However because he rents you might not feel that so much. As long as you plan it (check schools etc before you go) and everyone is on board, why not?

Thesmallthings Mon 22-Feb-16 14:12:51

Wow, I was kind of expecting a wash off hold of its to soon but I'm happy that I'm not just being over eager.

I guess i just have to do it because even if we'd been together years I would still have that scared side. Along with arrr I want it lol.

I'm going to phone schools up this week and see if we can get a appointment to look around.

Thank you all Youv helped settle my anxious side flowers

TheNaze73 Mon 22-Feb-16 14:23:53

Call me cautious but, 14 months seems a bit quick to me?

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