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what do you think this means?

(8 Posts)
fourpawswhite Fri 19-Feb-16 10:03:47


Looking for some outside input here as feeling a little confused. There probably is a big back story so I am not sure how much info to give.

I am happily married. Have been for 12 years. I am in business with four guys, really good friends with one of them (DF). DF is happily married, 5 children, I get on well with his wife.

DF and I abit like brother and sister. Never been anything other than friends. Work closely together, travel occasionally, never a suggestion of something inappropriate.

DF is abit of an awkward man at times. Can be difficult to work with, will never apologise for a mistake, very very passive aggressive.

He has been abit down of late, nothing in particular but just a feeling, behaving more and more in the above way, hard on staff without reason, taking huge amounts of time off without notice. (That's fine, I'm just concerned).

He has twice said to me, out of the blue, have you seen when Harry met sally? I have not. He says you need to watch it, a man and a woman can never be friends without one of them wanting more.

What would you take from that? This is a guy who I have known for years. Who I trust completely and who is also a good friend of my DH. Both our families security and happiness depends on the work we do and the business we have built together.

My gut is to take a step back, put it down to him being "out of sorts" and hope it passes. He was in a foul mood yesterday and drove off leaving me standing in the street. I had said is everything ok and he just said I was paranoid. DH knows all of the above and just thinks he's needing some time out. Business has had an extremely difficult year but we have turned a corner and things were looking up.

Hope that makes sense and would be grateful for any words of wisdom. Apologies if I have not given enough info, will try to answer any questions. brew

TokenGinger Fri 19-Feb-16 13:29:51

His wife probably has a male friend he suspects his playing away, his head is a mess, hence the irratic behaviour.

TokenGinger Fri 19-Feb-16 13:30:05


sonjadog Fri 19-Feb-16 13:46:56

I would ignore for now and see what happens. Impossible to know what to make of it, from what you have written here.

RealityCheque Fri 19-Feb-16 13:56:14

It's a (deniable) hint.

His marriage is fucked and he wants to sleep with you.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 19-Feb-16 13:58:49

Definite step back!

RedRainRocks Fri 19-Feb-16 15:32:01

I'd agree with TokenGinger he's probably not happy/suspicious about a 'friend' his wife has; and if he has any self-reflective ability at all is questioning himself about your friendship as a consequence...

fourpawswhite Fri 19-Feb-16 15:42:01

Thank you for your thoughts. An outside perspective helps sometimes.

I am one hundred percent sure he doesn't want to sleep with me. He's not even that nice to me most of the time. Annoying, unhelpful, but we are who we are.

Interesting about his wife, I had not considered that at all. Her two close friends have recently separated and they used to all do a lot together as couples so maybe that's unsettled him.

It had entered my mind that he was having an affair with someone himself. It would explain the disappearing. She made a comment to me a few weeks ago about the amount of time he was working and that could not be further from the truth. I can't force him to talk to me, I realise that. I suppose it's just been worrying me and I appreciate all your thoughts. I will step back and see what happens.

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