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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

adult dating site

69 replies

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 10:00

hi I have no idea if u guys can help but I'm desperate for outside advice.
I saw on of my partners email from a very adult dating site I checked it out he has a profile set up only basic info u can get anywhere.he hadn't read any messages as it's a paid site and doesn't look like he really went on it but there is a picture of his "manhood" a pic he took and sent to me over Facebook..he says he knows nothing about it I also found a friend on there who was surprised when I said i found him but his pic was a pic he uses a lot on profiles of his face...it's nit the first odd thing ive foubd..we've 2 kids together I'm trying to let it go for them but I can't please help with some advice

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Report

summerwinterton · 19/02/2016 10:14

why would you let it go for the sake of kids? They deserve better as do you.

Oysterbabe · 19/02/2016 10:21

He's lying about knowing nothing about it. You know that right?

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 10:30

I have no idea what to believe...especially with someone being unaware about their profile..all the info doesn't make sense n I don't want to end things if he's telling the trutj

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Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 10:32

I know but there's was no point in setting up the profile..u have to pay to do anything on the site he used his email and password which he knows I know it doesn't make sense

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Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 10:35

I logged on his profile by the way nothing had been done or read just basic info and the pic

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Oysterbabe · 19/02/2016 10:39

How would someone setting up the profile for him have got the cock shot?

plainjanine · 19/02/2016 10:39

Assuming someone else somehow got hold of the picture, and used it to make a profile in his name, why did they use his mail address? When joining anything like forums or online groups, you have to validate that the mail address you have supplied is a real one. So he has definitely done this, and he's lying when he says otherwise.

I'd be asking to see all his mial, including the contents of the trash folders, just for starters. His reaction to that request should tell you a lot.

sorry you're going through this, OP.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam · 19/02/2016 10:40

Are you saying that you think he knows nothing about the profile? And that it was set up either by someone who stole his identity on Facebook or by malicious software which copied his identity from Facebook onto an adult dating site?

So your options are:

A) He's cheating on you or thinking about cheating on you by hooking up with strangers on the Internet.

B) His identity has been stolen. Either by software or by an unknown person, who has used it to create a fake online dating profile. For absolutely no reason whatsoever.

When you look at it objectively, which one seems more likely?

I think it's time you had an honest conversation with one another.

Joysmum · 19/02/2016 10:51

How would someone setting up the profile for him have got the cock shot?

Exactly!

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 10:58

that's y I'm so confused..I know u have to validate the email and highly doubt spamming can get on his gallery on his phone. but then he's never read a message or paid for the site and you litrally can't do anything on there..and he can't be that stupid using info I know but again they couldn't get the photo unless he put it up or its on a similar website..I've tried to talk but he's denying all knowledge...and even if he was hacked setting up a profile with a pic of his Penis is like u say pointless so allso that's left is spam...or they got the info from a similar website or its him..but seems pointless for him to set it up

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Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 11:01

and the picture was taken for me and sent it over Facebook in messanger

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OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 19/02/2016 11:11

I found something about my DP early on (googling, I was a bit paranoid!). It wasn't a dating site, just a social media thing, and it was basic info and a pic he'd used as open profile pic on FB.

As I say, I was a bit paranoid due to past experiences and trust issues, so I dug a bit deeper. Turned out, I also had a profile on the same site!! I know I never set it up, so must be a hacker or computer generated thing from robots sweeping the web.

Now I know this doesn't cover the cock pic, but if he sent it to you on FB it might also have gone to your email address if you didn't read it straight away?

My email has been infiltrated before and started sending all sorts of weird stuff around.

It might be tenuous, but just trying to say don't end your relationship over this unless you are sure it's a cover up for something worse.

Maybe Google yourself to see if the same has happened to you?

The fact that he hasn't opened the messages is reassuring!

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 11:16

I thought it would reassure me then I just thought maybe he didn't know u had to pay...you set it all up for free.also I've just noticed it's not the same photo...so he never sent it to me...I'm not clued up enough on hacking and spamming to know what they can acsess..I'm trying to give him the benefit of doubt but there's things that don't add up..but things that do...I litrally have no idea

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blindsider · 19/02/2016 11:44

What is it about men sending Dick pics ?- it is really odd even if it is to your wife.

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 11:51

haha he works nights and thought it was sexy to send me photos the next morning when he went bed

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Joysmum · 19/02/2016 11:52

So it's not his dick?

blindsider · 19/02/2016 11:53

was it sexy??

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 11:55

yea it was his dick....and yea it was..put the kids sleep n went upstairs to him lol

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blindsider · 19/02/2016 11:59

Fair enough then

Buzzardbird · 19/02/2016 12:15

How has he explained how the site got access to his private photo then?

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 12:25

he hasn't..he hasn't even tried to make an excuse he just litrally says he doesn't know anything about it other than sighting up to dating sites before me but never adult ones...I'm not knowledgable enough to know if hackers or spam can do that it's all on one drive and Dropbox but it's a coinesdece that that type of photo was used pretty sure spam or hackers use profile pics from other sites and profiles of his face

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summerwinterton · 19/02/2016 12:47

You don't believe his lies do you?

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Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 12:50

I don't know..I don't think so but it doesn't make sense like any of it...y would he use his email and password that he knows I know..y would he leave his phone with emails on for me to see if it was the case...on the other hand the photo makes no sense..I don't know

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summerwinterton · 19/02/2016 12:56

because he is stupid and doesn't care if you find out?

Amandapeat · 19/02/2016 13:04

if he didn't care if I found out he wouldnt be trying his best to tell me he doesn't know anything about it or trying to figure it out between us he'd just admit to it n save himself the hassle

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