Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is there an innocent explanation here?

(17 Posts)
FredaMayor Thu 18-Feb-16 14:25:41

Another thread here about men (exes) making themselves over has made me think about a family member of mine (50 odd) who used to be all Barbour and corduroys and is now Belstaff and drainpipes, with dyed and gelled hair. He seems more genuine, relaxed and chilled than before.

The last time I saw him the upper part of his face looked somehow different, but it was hard to be certain without staring. He is now working weekdays away from home and is 'flatsharing' there with various different people and it seems pretty informal the way he describes it. I don't know where he actually goes but he travels back home on the weekends.

I'm finding it hard to be objective because of the implications, but what do you think MN? I'm not about to ask him but is there ever an innocent explanation for this? I don't think drugs are involved. confused

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 18-Feb-16 14:34:20

An innocent explanation for the upper part of his pace looking different? Confused!!

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 18-Feb-16 14:34:26


Goingtobeawesome Thu 18-Feb-16 14:36:42


squishee Thu 18-Feb-16 14:43:34

Does it matter?

Floggingmolly Thu 18-Feb-16 14:46:51

Innocent explanation for what? Is he married and you think he's playing away? confused

Pedestriana Thu 18-Feb-16 14:50:26

Not sure what you're after an explanation for?
Face = botox?
Style change = mid-life crisis?
flatsharing = relationships for money?

what are the implications? family? children? finances?

DonkeyOaty Thu 18-Feb-16 14:52:40

I think OP is hinting he's had botox what with being more chilled and and wearing snazzy threads. Or something.

ILikeUranus Thu 18-Feb-16 14:53:44

He's had a make-over and changed jobs. What do you want to explain, to who?

DonkeyOaty Thu 18-Feb-16 15:00:46

What's the potential non innocent explanation?

FredaMayor Thu 18-Feb-16 15:05:16

What's the potential non innocent explanation?

That his marriage may be over. sad

DonkeyOaty Thu 18-Feb-16 15:06:10


goddessofsmallthings Thu 18-Feb-16 15:45:56

Is it just him who's turned into a peacock or has his peahen dw also been transformed by nip/tuck/lipo and a wardrobe makeover?

He may be flatsharing with a group of trendy young professionals and felt out of place in his country clothes,or maybe he's working with a bunch of cool dudes. In any event, it sounds as if the change has been as a good as a rest for your family member and I suggest you compliment him on how well he's looking.

While the mutton look is never flattering, updating our wardrobes to reflect current fashion trends can knock years off our appearance, and it can also knock years off the way we mentally perceive ourselves which is a welcome bonus for those who have been taught to believe that we should always dress according to our chronological age.

FredaMayor Thu 18-Feb-16 16:23:07

A good point about mixing with other age groups goddess. Before he's always dressed conservatively, an old fogey even. I never comment on people's appearance normally, so he would have found it odd if I had said anything. Because I know him so well he doesn't look younger to me, just different.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 18-Feb-16 17:41:32

But it isn't just that he looks different as you've said that "he seems more genuine, relaxed and chilled than before" and surely that's worthy of comment?

If this was a relative or friend of mine, I'd comment favourably on their appearance and ask what they're on as they're looking so well and I want some. It'd be sad if he put a lot of thought into transforming himself only to find that no-one noticed, or no-one could be arsed to remark on changes he may have spent a fortune on worked hard to bring about.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 18-Feb-16 17:44:41

He went shopping and had some botox.

God, DH must constantly be worried I'm having an affair wink

goddessofsmallthings Thu 18-Feb-16 18:05:14

Your secret is safe with me, MrsCB. grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now