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I feel as if I have lost a friend to MLM

(24 Posts)
WishingWell2016 Wed 17-Feb-16 14:35:41

She is rarely available. Her weekends are spent at conferences. Sometimes when we arrange to meet, she suggests going to a meeting (I'm sure it's an MLM one.)

We used to be very close and I miss her.

Will she come back? Has anyone had this and regained their friend?

TheFridgePickersKnickers Wed 17-Feb-16 14:37:29

What's MLM?

WishingWell2016 Wed 17-Feb-16 14:39:26

Multi level marketing. She recruits people to sell stuff. And she sells stuff. And she goes to conferences which teach her how to recruit and sell.

PennyHasNoSurname Wed 17-Feb-16 14:40:57

I suppose its similar to having a friend who has swapped to weekend work? Maybe just text her and say "let me know when you are free for a coffee"and leave the ball in her court?

WishingWell2016 Wed 17-Feb-16 14:41:11

It's as if that's all she's interested in. I miss her.
I'm wondering if she will come out the other end.

SunnyIsles Wed 17-Feb-16 15:14:36

Yes, same happened to me. There are several threads in Money Matters about this, you'll find lots of people there who've lost friends and family over MLM. Sorry, can't link but have a look at Money Matters.

WishingWell2016 Wed 17-Feb-16 15:31:23

i have seen a few threads and that's why I thought to post here. I've posted before in fact. Wondering if I should say something to my friend. The consensus was no, she won't listen.

Did your friend come back?

giraffesCantReachTheirToes Wed 17-Feb-16 15:35:59

it's like a cult

giraffesCantReachTheirToes Wed 17-Feb-16 15:37:55

throwingpebbles Wed 17-Feb-16 16:06:17

It is sadly very much like a cult

You might be interested in this satirical /spoof MLM set up by a mumsnetter Timeless Vie it is partly funny but also links to lots of helpful articles and information

Huge sympathies, I have watched people alienate their whole family and friends after getting involved in an MLM (forever living in her case)

xenu1 Wed 17-Feb-16 16:44:39

WishingWell2016 "She recruits people to sell stuff. And she sells stuff. And she goes to conferences which teach her how to recruit and sell."

I think its really: "She buys stuff from the MLM which she stores in her house; she pays to go to conferences where they use cult-like techniques to draw her in and forget that she is losing money"

As stated there's much MLM-critical discussion on the MN Money Matters board. I'm sorry for you (and your poor friend, hope she gets out OK)

IorekByrnisonsArmour Wed 17-Feb-16 16:52:09


A close family member joined a MLM and I lost them for a year.

I know exactly what you mean - I missed them terribly.

The good news is now that they have stopped doing it, i have them back!

We are not back to 'normal' but I hope to be soon.

My advice would be to just wait it out. Be there for them and hope it's over soon flowers

WishingWell2016 Wed 17-Feb-16 17:01:39

I stay in touch and smile and nod when she talks about her thing. But I guess I can't speed up the leaving process.

JeanPadget Wed 17-Feb-16 17:27:47

Wishing I have a work colleague I was previously pretty close to (would tell her stuff I didn't trust anyone else with etc) but she got involved with Utilities Warehouse 2 1/2 years ago and it's like she's joined a cult. Even when she's at work she's not really there, IYSWIM. She's always checking her messages or phoning/ texting someone; she's never around at break or lunch times and she's often late for things. I miss her, but she's obsessed and I've pretty much given up on her now. Other people have noticed that she's not as focused on her 'proper' job as she should be. Sorry not to be able to give you better news.

dreich Wed 17-Feb-16 18:36:46

Be there for her, she'll come to her senses eventually but sadly it will take a while and she will probably be a bit embarrassed about it all. That's when she'll need you as a friend. 18 months in I'm still waiting for a good friend to leave the MLM and its been so painful watching her initial enthusiasm to attend all these mindset training events turn into cold hard debt.

CubicZirconiaBossyBabe Wed 17-Feb-16 19:02:33

Hey OP, yeah I joined a MLM, it is SOOO time consuming. All that stuff about "working flexibly around your commitments" and "only a few hours a week" is bollocks.

The vast majority of people who Join a MLM leave within a year so wait it out, you'll get her back and them some (because even after you leave people avoid you because they think you'll try to sell them something… so you end up with more free time than before)

Motorheadmum Thu 18-Feb-16 13:56:16

I have a few friends who joined then came out quickly so just wait and she will be back. Just be gentle with her when she realises it's all rubbish and she's paying for it.

hereandtherex Thu 18-Feb-16 14:16:42

sodding Aloe vera crap?

hereandtherex Thu 18-Feb-16 14:21:17

Its called 'sales channel stuffing'.

You recruit 1000s of people. Make them buy 5K of stock. Bingo - 50% margin on 1000 x 5000 = 5M / 2 = 2.5M profit.

Now to recruit a 1000 people with 5K to blow on crap.....

fruitpastille Thu 18-Feb-16 14:22:35

Sorry to hijack but I'm in a similar position. Are all these things equally bad or are some better than others? My friend is doing Arbonne. She loves the products. She has invited me to a demo evening but no hard sell. She doesn't have money to lose, I'm unsure whether to say anything... She's so enthusiastic I don't want to be all doom and gloom.

hereandtherex Thu 18-Feb-16 15:28:00

Some are out and out scams.

Others just a means of selling overpriced stuff to people you know.
i.e. they work by the seller abusing friendships. And egtting the seller to work for free.

I've never seen one where I thought - Wow, that really works and is good value.

They all rely of the seller being a bit of a business idiot.

Some - FLP - are being investigated in the US for Ponzi selling.

nextyearrodney Thu 18-Feb-16 16:56:12

I don't think there is a mlm which isn't a scam. The products are always overpriced as its about the recruiting and not the product.

throwingpebbles Thu 18-Feb-16 23:57:23

Arbonne is a pretty bad one imo fruitpastille you have to pay a large sum of money up front angry

LovelyFriend Fri 19-Feb-16 01:45:29

I was on a fb mums group with lots of US members.

One of the women started talking about investing in a product and others jumped in to discuss the products/brands they used.

So I googled it. I was shockshockshock to discover they were essentially talking about burning or diffusing some essential oils in their homes. They were all "investing" $100's in their homes in stuff I would buy for a few quid on the high street.

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