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why do I feel unnerved?

(3 Posts)
Ladygaggia Mon 15-Feb-16 21:21:59

Have been separated from exh for almost a year now. Apart from him being difficult over maintenance and childcare we've both been much happier apart.

Having not had his son for three weekends, he announced he had a new girlfriend last week and whilst I was happy for him I have struggled with various emotions ranging from anger that he has put seeing her before seeing his kids, panic that she needs to be warned about what he's really like! And sadness that I don't get enough time on my own to consider a new relationship.

Today he asked me for a divorce.

Again, no problem...but he makes me feel unnerved.
He'd never bother, so she's pushing for it. Unless there's a financial reason for it?

I'm worried, and I don't understand why?

Is this a normal reaction?

I'm worried about who I become when were divorced...Do I stay a Mrs? I don't feel I can go back to my maiden name, but I'll also not really be my married name.

This is stupid...what a stupid thing to stress about

bb888 Tue 16-Feb-16 06:46:08

That all sounds like normal things to feel, as is him wanting to get the legalities finalised. I think in terms of dating after marital break up that 'divorced' is usually seen as better than 'separated' in terms of people looking more sorted and definite, so maybe he has been noticing that?
You can stay Mrs Married name if you want? Or you can change it if you prefer.

Ladygaggia Tue 16-Feb-16 07:22:36

Thank you.
It does seem normal too, but he was very controlling and financially abusive in our relationship and I guess that always makes me question his motives for doing something out of character!
It'll all be fine

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