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Love token?

(34 Posts)
floatinby6 Mon 15-Feb-16 20:13:46

My bf wears a ring he refuses to talk about. It looks like a thick gold wedding band with two diamonds in it. It means an awful lot to him. Because it means a lot to him, it's important to me too. He never ever removes it. He's never been married & I don't think it is an old hand-me-down from a dear old grandad or whatever. All he will tell me is that he promised to never ever speak about it and that a promise is a promise. I think I know where the ring has come from, well I'm guessing. For the time being I don't mind, it's his perogative obviously but I feel a bit cut out. I really really like him & I'm just playing this forward in my head. Say we end up going the distance & are together for years on end, it feels a bit like there's a little 'ghost' hanging around that I'm not privvy to and I feel shut out. What do you think?

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Mon 15-Feb-16 20:15:01

I'm proper nosey.
I'd want to know

floatinby6 Mon 15-Feb-16 20:19:52

I've asked but he won't tell sad Surely if you're tight together you share stuff.

TheNaze73 Mon 15-Feb-16 20:20:17

Don't keep asking him. If he's sworn to secrecy respect that & be safe in the knowledge that you'll be able to confide in him, in the future as he's a man of his word. Whatever you do, don't drive him away by banging on about it

Marchate Mon 15-Feb-16 20:28:41

- He bought it himself
- He tells women this story to sound mysterious
- Anyone who asks too many questions doesn't pass the test
- He looks loyal, faithful, decent
- Now he can do whatever he wants!

Sorry, I am an incurable cynic

MidnightVelvetthe5th Mon 15-Feb-16 20:30:21

Well he's your boyfriend, not the boyfriend of the phantom ring giver so don't tie yourself up in knots about it.

Just ignore it, it doesn't have to be important to you because it's important to him...

abbsismyhero Mon 15-Feb-16 21:00:05

sure he has never been married? >cynic<

timelytess Mon 15-Feb-16 21:01:52

He's married.

silverfoxofwarwick1952 Mon 15-Feb-16 21:18:20

He's a Dark Lord

^Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.^

silverfoxofwarwick1952 Mon 15-Feb-16 21:19:32

Take it off him in his sleep, slip it on and if you get a very bad migraine, it seems windy and you are invisible then his ring is very powerful indeed.

It will be.....precious.

WaitingForMe Tue 16-Feb-16 11:52:00

I'm with Marchate although I'm leaning more towards a group of nerdy blokes setting up their own Freemason style gang where they imagine themselves to be masters of the universe.

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Tue 16-Feb-16 11:55:30

How long have you been together? What finger does he wear the ring on?

FredaMayor Tue 16-Feb-16 11:56:13

I think it's really childish.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse Tue 16-Feb-16 11:58:21

This would annoy me because I cannot think of one valid reason for it.

Dying Grandfather passes on ring on deathbed, and throws in a, "but don't tell anybody"?

Loving girlfriend of the past swears him to secrecy as to who has given him the ring?

The only feasible reasons are self-serving or some silly club.

I wouldn't want to be with someone so... Well... Childish. If it was a test I would be passing my own if I failed his.

TooAswellAlso Tue 16-Feb-16 12:04:30

How long have you been together?

I'd be of the "if it looks like a wedding ring and is worn as a wedding ring...." Side tbh

Hayels Tue 16-Feb-16 12:10:42

I agree that this is really childish and ridiculous but so am I because it reminded me of this 'joke'

TheNaze73 Tue 16-Feb-16 12:21:13

That joke was so bad, it was funny grin. Joking aside, just because someone can't see a valid reason for it, it doesn't mean he doesn't have one

CheersMedea Tue 16-Feb-16 12:48:46

He's never been married

How do you know this? Are you 100% sure he isn't still married?[Just read on here the numerous stories of women who had stayed over night repeatedly at bfs house and turns out, wife is living in the main home in the country, or abroad or where ever]

It is VERY odd for a man to wear a wedding ring type ring which isn't one! Does he wear it on his ring finger? Which hand?

All he will tell me is that he promised to never ever speak about it and that a promise is a promise.

There are a limited number of scenarios that would plausibly fit with this.
1. It's a pack of lies; he's married or it's a love token from his other primary gf. (He's a liar).
2. It's some kind of stupid secret society type ring (He's an inadequate dickhead).
3. It's just a ring that he picked up himself and doesn't want to admit to taste in tin pot jewellery taste so he's trying to make himself look more mysterious (He's a liar and a dickhead).
4. It was given to him in relation to some traumatic circumstance he doesn't want to talk about (eg. say as a teenager he was in a car crash in which his friend was killed and the friend's mother gave it to him). This is pretty unlikely but even if true if he's not willing to tell you it doesn't bode well (He's secretive).

I think I know where the ring has come from, well I'm guessing.

So where do you think it has come from OP?

tigermoll Tue 16-Feb-16 12:56:47

Another vote for silly secret society, here. Or maybe he's Captain Planet.

floatinby6 Tue 16-Feb-16 13:05:02

I'm pretty sure it's from an 'ex' significant other. Perhaps someone who shouldn't have been in the picture at all.

FredaMayor Tue 16-Feb-16 13:11:06

OP, if bf cared about what you thought that ring would be sitting in a pawn shop window.

TooAswellAlso Tue 16-Feb-16 13:12:05

Floatin, how long have you been with him??

sonjadog Tue 16-Feb-16 13:15:21

I doubt it. Then he would just say it is from an ex. It is hardly a big secret that someone he dated got him a ring, is it? Why would an ex make him promise not to tell anyone about where the ring comes from? Surely the wearing of a ring in a relationship is meant as a public statement?

I reckon he bought it himself and he feels that it is the kind of ring that someone should buy for someone else - so he has made up the secret to get out of telling people any more. Ot he bought it for himself to commemorate something. I reckon the promise is a promise to himself. I have made promises to myself about things. They are very personal and I wouldn't share them with anyone. I don't have a keepsake to remind myself of them, but I think it is fair to have one.

CheersMedea Tue 16-Feb-16 14:06:57

I'm pretty sure it's from an 'ex' significant other. Perhaps someone who shouldn't have been in the picture at all.

Well that's just peachy. So you think he was an OM to a married woman? And it is a gift from her?

And he's all secretive with you about it? Rosy picture coming through here.

Marchate Tue 16-Feb-16 14:09:58

You will mind when his secrets intensify

I still think it's a test - you accept this secret, he has free rein

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