I have this impotent rage that I can't do anything with. It is causing me to self sabotage myself at every turn and will probably make me ill at some point.
The person who destroyed me to my very core is living life a wonderful life, not looking back, taking no responsibility, everyone is on their side. I am ostracised, in a prison of my own making, this person is my warden.
The damage this person has caused will affect my family for generations, we will always have a blight on our history. There will always be something missing.
I wish I had some power to wreak havoc on them, chuck them into the pit of hell they threw me in but I am powerless. I wish I could beat the living daylights out of them but I am not that kind of person and I don't know where they are now anyway. I mash the potatoes harder, plump the sofa cushions harder imagining they are their face, that is the extent of the violence I could exert!
It is easy to say that the best revenge is living life to the full, get happy, move on but how can you do that when you takes all your strength just to get out of bed in the morning?
I wish I could do something to expose this person as the fucked up, spiteful person they are but no one would believe me. They are held in an almost god like esteem, nothing I can say would change that because I am worthless, a nothing so no one is interested in my side of the story.
I don't believe in karma because that would then mean that I must have done something terrible and I haven't.
No amount of therapy is going to help (and I've had lots).
In dark times, I have even fantasised about suicide and this person eventually coming across my grave and perhaps feeling a little bit bad about what they have done but that really would be cutting my nose off to spite my face (!). I want to enjoy what's left of my life and anyway this person would probably say 'she brought it all on herself'.
Perhaps I should take up kickboxing but I am too fat at the moment.
Arghh - any ideas?
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How to take revenge on someone who has destroyed me?
WannaThrowMyToyOutThePram · 15/02/2016 00:32
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