Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Tell me I'm just being silly

(5 Posts)
qu1cknamechange Sun 14-Feb-16 11:21:27

I know I am really, I need to get over myself.

Had sex with dh last night, wasn't really in the mood, but thought I would do it anyway and would get into it. I can be a bit lazy when it comes to sex and sometimes can't be arsed but if I do it anyway I do enjoy it. Couple of minutes in and I can't explain it, I just wanted it to stop. It was making my skin crawl. If I think about it now it makes me shiver.

We don't have sex very often, maybe once a week or once a fortnight, but I have never felt like this before. I love my husband very much and he is not aggressive or controlling and I am not sure why I felt I couldn't stop him, other than I thought it would hurt his feelings.

Please don't shout at me, I am feeling a bit grossed out and worried. Reassurance needed that this is a one off and I just need to be more assertive or something?

LizKeen Sun 14-Feb-16 11:24:48

What was the reaction that you feared he would have if you asked him to stop? I think that is key.

Sighing Sun 14-Feb-16 11:26:43

If you weren't that bothered in the forst place i'm not surprised your brain rebelled.
Did you stop? (Don't answer, but you need to get more in touch with your actual needs and desires to enjoy the sex you want).
I'd suggest focusing on intimacy (emotional and physical) to see if your sexuality reemerges.
Then consider discussing with a gp (stress, exhaustion etc).

MiddleClassProblem Sun 14-Feb-16 11:28:12

If you are normally ok with it and haven't had any abusive sex in your past it's probably just something lurking in your subconscious from something you saw on telly, read or a weird dream. Like when you have a sex dream about someone you have never fancied and then end up crushing for a few days after. Hopefully it will pass

qu1cknamechange Sun 14-Feb-16 11:44:33

Thanks. We have a lot of stress at the moment (tricky house move) so perhaps that doesn't help. We do have sex and sometimes I enjoy it more than others, but that's fine, what weirded me out was that I just froze and it was so horrible.

I am not a very tactile sort of person anyway and a massage would be my idea of hell.

I have always subscribed to the view that if you don't feel like sex you should probably just do it anyway (with caveats) because you often find yourself enjoying it (like the party you can't be arsed going to!) but last night has proved me wrong.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now