Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

To text or not?

(52 Posts)
zaalitje Sat 13-Feb-16 17:40:46

I've been on four dates with a guy, he seemed really keen and at date 3 I told him to slow things down a little, he seemed OK with that and like he had taken on board what I said.

He asked over a week ago if we could do something for Valentines, he was meant to be coming to me tonight, at 6, having food, maybe going out for a couple drinks then the day tomorrow together, nice country walk and big Sunday lunch.

So, apart from a "Good Morning" WhatsApp yesterday morning I've heard nothing from him, sent one message as I left work last night and a "Morning" message this morning. I know he's looked at the message and been online several times since I sent it, but nothing.

Even on Thursday though he was talking about cooking together, that he'd bring a couple bottles of wine.

This, I assume, is his rather crap way of dumping me. That's fine, it's only been 4 dates, I'm a big girl and can handle it, just annoyed how disrespectful he is being by blanking me.

So, good ladies, do I text? If so what? I'm currently fighting itchy fingers!

SwedishEdith Sat 13-Feb-16 17:42:50

I'd certainly wait until after 6 before I did anything.

DanglyEarOrnaments Sat 13-Feb-16 17:45:58

I wouldn't personally, but then most would disagree, I would never bother with a guy who did that, even if it upset me to leave it.

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 17:48:59

Despite the fact he hasn't responded to a message since yesterday morning?

Leaning toward texting "You should have told me you'd changed your mind. Would have saved me spending money on food for tonight"


"You should have just told me you'd changed your mind"

HelpfulChap Sat 13-Feb-16 17:51:07

I agree with Sairze

Otherwise, nothing.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Sat 13-Feb-16 17:55:01

Was the conversation about slowing things down before or after making plans for V-Day?

Anyway, it looks like he's either spat his dummy or lost interest. If he was going to come over tonight I'd assume he'd have messaged to double check times and that you are still ok for him to come over.

I don't think I'd text him. And then if he ever text me again I'd reply "who is this?"

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 17:57:09

I think I'm most frustrated as I could have made other plans for tonight, a friend I haven't seen for a while was in the local area and asked about catching up, I said I couldn't make it as I already had plans, too late to meet now.

I'm also grateful that he's shown me his true self before I got more emotionally involved.

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 17:58:28

I'm the OP btw, name change fail

SwedishEdith Sat 13-Feb-16 17:58:41

He'll turn up at 6 with an OTT bunch of flowers.

WipsGlitter Sat 13-Feb-16 17:59:17

So it's two minutes to six. Are we to assume he's not there?!

liberatedwine Sat 13-Feb-16 18:00:18

I would chalk it up to experience and definitely NOT text him, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're the least bit bothered.

Onwards and upwards flowers chocolate

MuttonCadet Sat 13-Feb-16 18:02:25

I bet he's there now, he didn't cancel so why assume the plans had changed from Thursday to Saturday?

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 18:04:07

Conversation hadn't really slowed, it did a little when I asked him to slow down a couple weeks ago but we were still texting regularly.

It was an OLD thing, I assume someone else took his interest. Just annoyed with his rudeness, and frustrated I have missed a rare chance to catch up with a good friend.

honeyroar Sat 13-Feb-16 18:05:14

Its still worth contacting your friend, just tell her the person you were meant to be seeing is being flaky and you're now regretting not meeting him/her, if they're out somewhere could you pop over and catch up.

And while it's highly tempting contacting him and telling him he's a let down, I wouldn't bother. He's not worth the effort if he has let you down already..

MuttonCadet Sat 13-Feb-16 18:05:43

Oh, sorry, well he's bloody rude.

Can you rate people on OLD? I'd score him very low!

SwedishEdith Sat 13-Feb-16 18:09:31

Argh, sorry. Here's some flowers from us instead.

Delete his number, move on.

choceclair123 Sat 13-Feb-16 18:12:39

I wouldn't text him. Delete delete delete thanks

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 18:14:47

Itchy fingers won

"Changing your mind about tonight is OK. Not bothering to tell me is not."

CrazyDuchess Sat 13-Feb-16 18:15:23

Agreed don't contact, delete/ block then start again.

Bloody rude though and I would struggle to bite my tongue!

Sairze Sat 13-Feb-16 18:15:48

Ahh well, means I get a whole bottle of very nice red wine to myself smile

CrazyDuchess Sat 13-Feb-16 18:15:56

X post - well now it's out of your system I'd still block!

CrazyDuchess Sat 13-Feb-16 18:16:13

Lol silver lining!

loveyoutothemoon Sat 13-Feb-16 18:19:08

No don't text, block him. I couldn't be doing with being ignored. Deal breaker so early on!

honeyroar Sat 13-Feb-16 18:21:06

Oh well. It wasn't a bad message to send! Just don't get involved in a discussion if he texts back saying crap like "I didn't think it was a firm plan" etc. If he does just don't reply.

MazzleDazzle Sat 13-Feb-16 18:22:22

Any chance there's a completely reasonable explanation?

Either way, I personally wouldn't have text him, but I see that you already have. It now looks like he's backed off a bit after you're advice and now he's got you doing the chasing.

Unless there's an innocent explanation, don't stay at home on your own. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Delete his number and move on!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now