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Advice and kinship needed

(4 Posts)
Awfullyconfusedwhat Sat 13-Feb-16 10:02:28

I am a teacher who works for a busy boarding school. I have three kids all ages 10 and under. I am going through a very hard time with my husband. We separated just before Christmas but we tried to give it another go. I admitted to him I had a crush on somebody at work - nothing happened but he now accuses me of having an affair.

He is often moody and sulky at me. My job requires me to work evenings and he resents what he calls babysitting his children. We never have normal conversations anymore. We are from different cultures and married young and now the cracks are showing. I find sex really hard as he doesn't communicate with me properly and then expects me to want to sleep with him. I need to talk about feelings and feel loved whereas he feels love through the physical side.
He has no friends and I feel guilty if I go out to my choir once a week. I cannot carry on living like this but it will be really hard by myself with my job and childcare
. I feel like I should force myself to sleep with him because he has basically said unless we have sex he is going but he does nothing to make me feel loved. We have tried relate- he didn't talk. He doesn't want to go out together.
He also stole the details of my private bank account and constantly checks my phone.
Sorry for the length but if anyone can offer a drop of advice, I would be grateful.

DoreenLethal Sat 13-Feb-16 10:04:10

Why did you decide to give it another go?

I think you need to end this and take some time to yourself.

Did he do anything with your account details?

Marchate Sat 13-Feb-16 10:08:01

Looking after his own children is not babysitting

Monitoring your movements is a crime, as far as I know

goddessofsmallthings Sat 13-Feb-16 10:45:04

Your h is not 'babysitting'. He's parenting his own dc and there's no reason for you to feel guilty when you work evenings or go to your choir sessions.

Other single parents manage to cope with demanding jobs that require working outside of school hours and employing an au pair/mother's help should enable you to keep the plates spinnng after you've ditched the drain on your resources.

I trust you've transferred any monies in your private bank account to another account to which the details are not available to him and suggest you change the password on your phone and keep it with you at all times.

Having done everything possible to keep your marriage alive, the only option left available to you is to put an end to your misery and file for divorce sooner rather than later.

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