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Anyone tried informal 'mediation' with a family member

(7 Posts)
00opopop00 Sat 13-Feb-16 09:36:20

Several years ago DSis misinterpreted something I had done and demanded an apology. As I hadn't done what she thought I'd done I refused but suggested we talk about it. She didn't want to. We've never been close but nothing like this has ever happened before.

3 years have gone by and there has been NC but she's told her story to other relatives, no doubt embellished, and 2 family members no longer speak to me.

I want to end this nonsense - we're all in our 50s and its simply ridiculous. Was thinking of asking a cousin - she's a nurse so has good people skills - to mediate. Dsis has tried to get her to take sides but she maintains fairly minimal with me.

Anyone been through anything like this? Any tips would be appreciated.

summerainbow Sat 13-Feb-16 10:03:23

Why did not apologise ?
Why don't you apologise now in letter .
Just apologise for everything thinks you have done wrong .

00opopop00 Sat 13-Feb-16 10:09:51

I cannot apologise for something I have not done - it is something really horrible she thinks I've done.

I've already sent her a letter explaining that she has misunderstood and suggesting we put an end to this.

Iamdobby63 Sat 13-Feb-16 10:42:22

Pop, did she not respond to your letter?

If this person can be neutral then you have nothing to lose by trying. Imo

summerainbow Sat 13-Feb-16 13:35:09

You apologise for her thinking that you did the thing she thought you did .
Have you found who did the thing she thought you did ?

00opopop00 Sat 13-Feb-16 17:29:13

She didn't respond to my letter Iam

summer it was someone treating her a certain way which she thought I'd provoked. That person has MH issues and is in no fit state to contribute to the discussion.

summerainbow Sun 14-Feb-16 21:14:56

you apologise for saying xxx (write exactly what you said) to y .
you then apologise for y doing what she did . you have be prepared to apologise if you going do mediation .

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