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How do I deal with this situation?

(4 Posts)
Twinklestar2 Fri 12-Feb-16 22:08:41

I have been debating for weeks to post about this but really need advice.

Long story short:

About 6 years ago, my sister and I had a falling out. I didn't agree with the way she parenting her child and I had an argument with her about it. Although I see now I shouldn't have said anything, I still agree with what I said. I was young and opinionated. I called her a few days later and apologised. Things weren't great after that but we still spoke but the relationship wasn't the same.

Then about 5 years ago I got married and she was a total cow at my wedding. When I called her out about it she stopped speaking to me for 6 months. I eventually called her and sorted it out with her. I told her we'd both said and done things wrong and she said let's forget about it and move on.

Since then our relationship has been ok but not great. I am very different to the rest of my family and don't conform to the way they do things. My sister is really aggressive and rude - everyone in my family knows it but just puts up with it. I am the only one who will pull her up on it but sometimes I just let it go because I can't be bothered with the arguments. Our other sister has said if she wasn't our sister, she wouldn't bother with her.

In the past couple of years, things have been good between us. There have been a few big things happen in our family which has helped the relationship to heal and I thought things were going back to normal.

Last month, my family did something to upset me. When I approached them about it (I had to do it via text which I said I didn't want to but it was the easiest way to speak to them but asked them to phone me), she wrote back that she wasn't interested and not to expect a phone call from her. Turns out she had spoken to my mum and got her version of the story rather than asking me my side.

You may think I'm silly but her words really hurt me. This was 3 weeks ago and I still think about it. I have cried about it a few times. I just can't believe someone would say that to someone who was upset.

I feel like I have had enough of the way she speaks to people. And I don't want to put myself in the line of her vicious tongue again.

I want to not speak to her again until she apologises but I don't think she will, she is just not the type.

I could be the bigger person and move on but I'm always the one who does this.

I could ignore her but how long can I do that without my family finding out and a) telling me I'm dragging it on when this happened 3 weeks ago and b) upsetting my mum.

I don't know what to do. Should I just man up and move on. Everyone else just lets her speak to them the way she does, why can't I accept it too?

Twinklestar2 Fri 12-Feb-16 22:10:12

To add to it: she is pregnant and due next month. So to not speak to her means not congratulating her on the baby or seeing pics of it, etc.

Balders74 Fri 12-Feb-16 22:21:17

I can relate to how you're feeling. I fell out with my sister because she invited my STBXH to her new year party & doesn't understand why that has upset me.

There is no reason why you can't still congratulate your sister when she has the baby but you could take a step back & not engage in her drama & rudeness.

Twinklestar2 Sat 13-Feb-16 09:02:04

I feel like I want her to know that the way she spoke to me was hurtful. And it was humiliating too as she said it on text in front of all my brothers and sisters.

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