Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
I don't think I can take any more ): please advise me.(37 Posts)
I don't know if this is the correct topic but it's the one I usually read.
I am having an awful time at the moment, I have 2 DC ages 11 and 7. The 11 y.o has a different dad and the 7 y.o dad and I have not a very good relationship, to say the least. He has never wanted to live together and just picks and chooses, I think it's selfish and for a quite a while we've been on the verge of splitting. Stupidly we had sex twice over New Year and since i'm off my pill I took the morning after pill both times. But on 25th Jan i found out I'm pregnant. I was all over the place, but after a few days of tears and guilt and horrible feelings since I feel I love the baby already, I decided on a termination, because of many many reasons practical, financial etc, there's no way I could go through with this pregnancy realistically.
Since around the 1st Feb I've been having horrendous all day sickness. I had similar with my first I remember although not as bad as this. Back then I lost a ton of weight, lost teeth, was sick a lot all the way through, really anaemic. This is worse. worse )-: . I can keep literally NOTHING down apart from maybe a few digestive biscuits a day (none today) and I've been averaging a pint of sipped fluids a day and at least keeping that down (again, not today, today EVERYTHING has been coming up). I've lost count of how many times I vomit or retch - probably about 20 x a day. I'm only peeing a small amount twice a day or so and the other thing barely at all (sorry if TMI). I can barely sleep as I'm up about 3-4 times in the night most nights being sick. Have lost about a stone in 10 days )-: and was only 8st to begin with. Every time the sickness comes the cold sweats and shaking and dizziness.
I feel so weak. "D"P has done nothing to help at all. He's not even working and lives 5 mins away but I've been dragging myself the 2 hours a day walk to and from school with kids, housework (eldest been helping), cooking (boak!), everything, being sick in the street and in shops etc. He just says "I know" when I say he's not lifted a finger. My dad is coming over tonight cause I couldn't face an extra walk to the bank, but I've not told anyone in my family it's anything other than a bug and they live an hour or so away anyway.
I have the first appointment tomorrow for the termination, but I've been told they won't do anything on that day, I'll need to wait for another appointment (have been waiting since 2nd feb for this appointment). "D"P is picking up the DC whilst I go.
I don't know what I'm asking really, I just feel like I cannot go on like this, I'm so weak from not eating and even when not actually being sick, the awful nausea just builds and builds 24/7. I feel like I can't cope anymore )-; , and I'm no wuss but I've never felt as ill in my life. I feel like the sickness is overtaking everything, even my emotions about the termination etc, I just can't focus on anything other than getting through the days and I'm starting to get panic attacks as well and worry HOW ON EARTH WILL I COPE IF THEY SAY ANOTHER 7 OR 10 DAY WAIT. I feel so stupid and let down by the father. I wonder if I'll ever get over this.
Sorry I'm feeling really sorry for myself and rough I even have red spots round my eyes from pressure. If anyone has any advice or support to give it would be welcome, or even just support to get through this. Feel so alone.
Oh my god!! I didn't want to read and run, I've no practical help but I truly feel for you!
Whereabouts in the country are you? If I'm near by I would help you!
Thanks so much, concerned x I'm in Scotland lol. I have a best friend but she's in the South West Engand.
I actually had to stop the first post twice to run and vomit. So tired, no rest )-: )-:
I am so sorry for you. Poor you. Deal with the termination and then please cut this horrible waste of space out of your life. No one deserves to be treated like this.
God I'm nowhere even remotely near, you're going to have to beg them to move quickly!!! Surely when they realise how unwell you are they will do something to help! X
Honestly, go to a&e and they will give you anti sickness tablets. It was the only thing that enabled me to full partly human. You could be dangerously dehydrated. Hyperemesis is so awful.
Sorry you are feeling so bad I hope once you feel better you can have the strength to cut this lazy no gooder out of your life.
The may admit you tomorrow as you are so poorly and then he will need to step up to the plate and get his priorities right
This sounds so hard. You must go and get some anti sickness medications, I'm not a dr but my friend had he recently and it's a serious health issue. Losing all that weight is not healthy, please see your gp first thing! That's your priority and then you can deal with the whole issue of terminating and your do who sounds like a total waste of space. He should be waiting on you hand and foot.
Thanks so much for the support.
I do intend on cutting him out of my life, he has been acting like he doesn't love me anymore for quite a while now, but to have not even the human decency or responsibility to help out in this is unreal. I'm hurt too, although the sickness is taking full-stage now , but I fear the hurt over the termination and relationship will come later and I'm not looking forward to that.
I'm going to try and beg them to move quickly. I'm supposed to have a 'comfortably full' bladder for the scan )-; , so I'm guessing if I drink anywhere near the amount to have a full bladder, I'll be vomiting all over the place, and hopefully they will move quickly. Also I think the weight loss will be noticed.
I don't think I can go to A&E with both kids, but tomorrow they are going to "D"P , the eldest due back Friday, youngest due back Sunday, so if after this appointment I'm still the same (likely) I will get myself to A&E. Or maybe I should go tonight, but I really feel so ill I can't face being there with both kids and DS is an early-bedder and would get cross.
I'm not sure if dehydrated, although I do have dry mouth and lips and my skin on hands and face feeling weird,not peeing much, so maybe. But then again prior to today I had been keeping down about a pint of water a day so as not to be dehydrated. Literally everything even water has been coming back up today though, so if this continues into tomorrow I guess I'll have to do something.
My dad has come round and is taking the eldest to the supermarket with a list of shopping and has given me some money in case I need it. I can't ask him to watch the kids though, because I have told all my family it's a sickness bug, and he keeps saying don't worry it'll be away by tomorrow! (if only they knew this is day 10 and counting)
I'm going to look up hyperemesis. I'm sure that word was mentioned a few times when I was having my eldest and I was similar to, but not as bad as this. With the 2nd I was only minorly sick.
You could be throwing up a lot more than a pint of water. Is there a drop in centre, a minor injury unit, or could you nip up to the surgery tomorrow and do a urine test - that will tell you if you're dehydrated.
Honestly, I have struggled with it and ended up in hospital on a drip. You sound like you have it really severely. Even just ring 101 they might be able to get you an out of hours prescription but you def need a urine test to see your level of ketones, you might need a drip.
Thank you, I feel so so embarrassed going anywhere in this state but you are all right, I can't go on like this. I'm so ill with it. I will wait til my dad gets back, put kids to bed and try some water. If it comes back up again, I will call 101. x
I'd really struggle to give a urine sample at any time of day at the mo, and I'm usually a racehorse pee-er ! Since this began I've been peeing only twice a day, in the morning and about 6pm and that's it. Do you think I can take a sample myself in the morning and store it, or will that skew the result?
No it has to be fresh.
The fact that you can't pee much suggests you could well be dehydrated. Can you get an energency appt tomorrow morning with a GP? Ours you had to ring at 8.30am.
Alternatively just turn up and ask if you do a urine sample there and then, if a nurse could put a test stick in it.
You poor thing. Please ring 101. You need to be seen by someone. Don't keep suffering alone.
The GP is who I went to twice already - once when I found out and once to book the termination. He doesn't know anything about the sickness situation , but he did say if I needed to see him again , to ring and tell them he said I could have a same-day appointment. So that's something. I'll collect a sample in the morning and since the DC school is right beside the GP, i'll take it in. Cause I really won't be able to pee on demand ..
Sorry meant to say he doesn't know anything about the sickness cause it had only just started up the last time I saw him and didn't say anything. I feel really guilty asking for help when I'm not even keeping the baby, feel a bit of a fraud )-: but I'm so weak. Just tried a biscuit and a small amount lucozade.
I really don't think your body can wait 10 days, it sounds like you could be very dehydrated and make need a saline drip etc.
You poor thing. Don't feel bad. It's important for you to be healthy and well regardless of your decision with the pregnancy.
I would try the out of hours GP and ask them to fax a prescription for anti sickness to the local pharmacy if A&E isn't an option. Do you have someone to collect it for you? Only thing is you may not be able to keep it down.
It will be fine to take a urine sample in, especially if it's from that morning. You can get a pot from the pharmacy if someone goes.
I was horribly sick with all my 3 pregnancies - the first 2 were boys and my 3rd was a girl. With her I was so bad I was hospitalised 3 times on a drip & didn't think I would make it! Apparently women used to die of hyperemesis which anyone who's had it will completely believe - it was 18 years ago for me & I still remember the misery ..... I used to crawl to the bathroom to vomit during the night - only bile came up as I couldn't keep anything down and I was too weak to walk ....
At the time I was told it was something to do with hormones and that's why you can be more affected with a girl but to be honest I don't know if there's any truth in it.
Take care of yourself - do try to at least drink as really easy to be dehydrated - I was told if I went more than 24 hours keeping nothing down then to go to hospital - at least you will be instantly better the minute the pregnancy is over x
"I used to crawl to the bathroom to vomit during the night - only bile came up as I couldn't keep anything down and I was too weak to walk"
I am almost at the above stage, except from the crawling.
Called the GP surgery but they could only give me times which clash with the termination appointment )-:
Was up and down all night, finally 2 hours sleep at 4 am. I kept being able to feel my heart in my chest - sometimes quick (when moving or vomiting), sometimes slow when resting. eek.
I am going to deal with this today though, one way or another, because I am really struggling to cope and another 10 days or even a week like this would be torture.
Kept down a little lucozade and water so far. Going to take DC to school and come back and try a bath and book a taxi to my appointment. x
I was sick a lot and couldn't keep anything down but I was nothing like you sound.
I hope your appointment gets this all sorted out quickly for you.
Just FYI, orange ice lollies were my saviour (and sugary tea)
The shop bought ones not so good but I made my own at home and they were something I could keep down.
Might not help you but worth a try?
Thanks hellsbellsmelons x
I am having that strange thing where one day I crave something and then the next i can't even look at it or think about that food without feeling extremely sick! What I can eat has been changing all the time. I was eating dry crackers but as I got more thirsty I can't stand the thought of them. One night I had 2 spoons of curry (bad idea I know) and promptly sicked it up 4 times! Bought cuppa soups but couldn't face them when it came to it. Same with chips and gravy. Now I am on the digestive biscuits (only a couple a day atm) and lucozade, but funny you mention that, the whole time I've really wanted those fruit pastille icelollies... but I'm struggling to get the energy for shops and my dad didn't bring them. If I can I will get them.
I know, it is severe sickness. I was about half as bad as this with my first (DD) , but with my second (DS) I was only sick the "normal" pregnancy sickness amount.
Going in the bath and got appointment at 1pm, I'm going to beg them to move quickly cause I weighed myself and have lost 10lbs in 10 days, if it keeps up at this rate I'll weigh less than 11 y.o DD by the next 10 days. And I'm just feeling so shit with it and the complete lack of support from so-called "P" - He agreed earlier in the week to pick up the DC whilst I'm there, but is now moaning about it, saying "your appointment is at 1, you'll be in and out in half an hour surely?" , how cold. Also asking me why the DC can't just go to afterschool care And he is moaning that he'll have to "wander the streets or go to the library" for ages, when that's bullshit, he could easily take them to my house (he has key) , or his own house! He just won't lift a finger. I'm starting to hate him.
Fingers crossed the clinic will take me seriously and thanks for all the support when I feel so alone x
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.